Bias wrecked (Chaewon - Le sserafim)

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There are cameras everywhere, but they don't really care about you

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There are cameras everywhere, but they don't really care about you.

You're in front of a room filled with thousands in attendance, but most of them don't care about you. And the very few that are actually there for you—you certainly couldn't tell apart when they're all the way at the back.

The audience erupts in cheers, but they're not meant for you.

It's fine. Nothing new, really. You've learned to liken the noise to artificial, pre-recorded cheers, the ones you've been listening to for the last couple of years. Perhaps the day will come when these people will be screaming your name, but the chances are as low as you being on that stage to begin with.

The winners say their little thanks of appreciation to the fans, delivered with concise and flawless execution, as if it had already been decided beforehand. Knowing the other nominee's absence, it likely seems to be the case. Then again, this is already their 15th music show win after debuting a little over a year ago. On the other hand, your group debuted right at the same time they made their comeback. It would be considered reckless, downright stupid in the hands of a relatively larger company, but this is some fresh start-up with you and your members as their first experiment. You gain fans, and the sales are surprisingly decent for a new boy group from a completely unknown label, but otherwise, you're another name that has Nugu Promoter labeled all over it.

It's a volatile profession where only the rich get richer. You don't even know if you'll even make it past the end of the year. Any hopes of public attention, let alone a music show win is basically blind optimism at this point.

While your peers around you will continue with their promotions, this is your last one. Two weeks for a newly debuted group sounds sacrilegious, but money is a scarcity. Using recycled outfits for the last two shows should have been a dead giveaway, a glaring red flag, that you're in deep waters, but nobody cares.

Really, no one does. Ask anyone in that room and they'll probably think you never actually existed.

You're smiling, acting as if the dozens of cameras are pointed right at you, but in reality, you're just empty space.

You're just happy to be there.

So when the encore plays, everyone leaves the stage, and after you exchange courtesy bows with the seniors that go overlooked in favor of their more recognizable peers, the heavy weight of being an idol is removed. Your lips loosen up, your eyes rapidly blink; one by one, you're peeling off the mask, the persona that is required of any performer. All at once, a million things spring to mind. The members, the fans, the company, your future—it's all things you have to worry about. It's wise not to think about any of it, but you can't help but wonder if you were better off not chasing your dreams if you knew this was where you'd end up.

Still, it does have some rewards.

Even though the cameras catch you in the act, and it's broadcasted out for everyone to see, you've been peeking at the women beside you. That's one benefit of being a nobody; there's no public outrage or melodramatic outcry, and the few that notice play it off as some kind of inside joke. Anyone else in your position would facing the prospect of career suicide. It's still unbelievable that the same idols you've watched and inspired you to pursue that dream are at an arm's reach. Competitive releases be damned, you'd happily go unnoticed if it meant you'd end up next to some of the hottest idols right now.

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