𝐈 𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐋𝐘 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 ━━ chicago fire

[ 037 ] a heavy weight

𝐈 𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐋𝐘 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔

chapter thirty-seven ; a heavy weight
[ season two, episode nineteen ]

BODEN STOOD in front of his firefighters and paramedics. Everyone was shocked and saddened by the news. "We work a dangerous job. We all knew that when we signed up. A firefighter dies in the line of duty, we are shocked, our hearts are broken, but in some dark corner of our mind, we are bracing ourselves for that possibility."

He grabbed Rebecca's helmet from the chair, where her jacket was as well. "When a firefighter takes her own life, that is not a contingency that we can prepare for. We can't change what happened. But we can learn from it. We all missed the signs here. And we can never let it happen again. So, you reach out to each other. You be there for each other. Not just for today, or this week, always. I never want to see another member of this family slip through the cracks. Let's go to work."

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SHAY AND GABBY walked into the common room area later and found Clarke standing there. He had decided to visit them because of what happened with Rebecca.

"Look who it is," Shay spoke. "To what do we owe the honor?"

"Just checking on you guys," Clarke answered. "This whole thing with Jones, you know."

Gabby nodded. "Yeah, it's unbelievable, right?"

"Unbelievable. I'm working with her oldest brother now, Brandon. And this poor guy's beside himself." Melisa stood by the coffee pot and listened to them talk. "That reminds me," he pulled out some money, "from the guys at 25." He handed them to Kelly.

"Awesome. Thank you, Clarke."

Melisa put her mug in the sink. "I hope Rebecca's brothers don't let their dad off too easy." The attention was on her.

"Melisa," Casey scolded her.

"What?" Melisa shrugged. She looked at Clarke. "Please tell me someone's taking him to task for what he did to Rebecca."

"Bishop, we were ready to go to bat for her," Boden told her calmly. "But it was up to her to stand up to him—"

"He wore her down!" Melisa interrupted the chief. "Okay?" Her voice wavered slightly, and she mentally scolded herself for it. She was trying to keep it together. Boden looked confused by her reaction. "All she wanted out of life was to be a firefighter, and she did it despite his constant discouragement and interference."

Melisa couldn't help the tears that gathered in her eyes. The whole situation felt familiar. It wasn't all that different from what she went through. "But he still had to take that away from her."

Clarke spoke after a brief moment. "Look, all Brandon said about it was that she had depression her whole life. Apparently, she tried this once before, when she was 16."

It made the situation somewhat worse. "And knowing that, he still bullied her? He still berated her? Pushed her to the brink?"

"Bishop..." Boden trailed off. "We're talking about a Deputy District Chief."

Melisa glanced away, blinking back the tears that threatened to escape. "I don't care," she muttered before walking out.

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"WHATEVER IS GOING on between you two, can you drop it?" Kelly yelled at Hermann and Peter. They just got back from a call. The two had been at each other all day over Rebecca's death.

"I'll drop it when he apologizes," Hermann stated.

"Apologize for what?" Peter snapped at him. "For speaking the truth?"

Casey stepped in. "Knock it off, both of you."

"Yeah? He's saying that we made Jones suicidal. And I'm supposed to swallow that?"

"No!" Peter yelled. "No! Just own up to your own behavior and admit that you could have handled things better!"

"How dare you?!" Hermann started off in his direction but was held back by other firefighters. "I was the last one to see her alive!" Melisa stepped back as they kept talking. "You think I didn't wonder over and over again what I might have done different? What else I might have said that would have changed her mind?"

Melisa couldn't stand it anymore. She let the tears flow, and she rushed into the firehouse to get to the locker room. Boden watched her leave before turning to the others. "Is this what you all took from what I said this morning? Is this really how we're going to get through this thing?"

Capp walked out of the firehouse. "Severide? Bloom is inside."

"Sorry, Chief. I got one more save to make tonight." Everyone followed Kelly inside.

Boden went to the locker room, where he found Melisa leaning against the lockers. She was trying to compose herself. "I thought I'd find you here." He stood against the lockers on the opposite side. "What's been going on with you?"

Melisa sniffled. "It's been a hard day."

Boden nodded. "That it has."

"My mom didn't want me to be a firefighter," Melisa explained. "My dad died on a call, and she didn't want to lose her only child. My mom was a lot like Rebecca's dad. We didn't talk for a year at some point. And I wanted to end it."

Boden was taken aback by what he was hearing. "How are things with your mom now?"

"They're good. She came around."

"That's good." Boden smiled a little. "I'm glad things turned out well and that you're here." He put his hand on her shoulder. "If you ever want to talk to me again, my office is open. And there are a lot of people here who care about you."

Melisa gave him a small smile. "Thank you, Chief."

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WORDS:  952
A/N: just a reminder that there is no shame in reaching out for help.