Cursive Conundrums

lxiii

"James?" Sirius pressed a glass of water into his best mate's hands. "It's your turn."

"Thanks." James downed the cup in one gulp. "You okay?"

Sirius nodded, "yeah, you?"

"Yeah, fine." James grunted, standing from the uncomfortable hospital chair he'd been residing in for the past four days.

'Stable for now'. Is what the healers had told them.

For now.

James hated the indefinite.

'I don't know'
'We're unsure'
'There's a possibility'

Life would be so simple without the color grey.

"But life in black and white is no life at all," is what his father said as James sat between his parent's hospital beds.

They were sending him and Sirius back to school today—away from them and the uncertain.

"Grey is all the bits that make life worth living," Effie said, "it's love, its understanding, its surprise, its loyalty, its friendship, its growth. Seek the grey Jamie and you'll never be afraid."

"My solace is rather Black," James let his lips turn into a half smirk.

"Better get back to it then," Monty laughed weakly, "always the jokester; my son is."

He squeezed James hand as tightly as his frail body could manage.

"I can't do it without you guys." James squeezed his eyes closed and tilted his head back, "don't make me do it without you."

"Oh Love," Effie said, the warmth rolling through her words, "you are capable of so much more than you believe to be."

"Please Mum," James choked back a sob, "please don't leave me."

"I'd never leave you sweet boy," Effie smiled through her tears, "not for as long as you need me."

"You promise?" James said.

"Effie—" Monty warned.

"I promise." Effie said steadily. "Now off you go, you've got that life of yours waiting for you."

"I love you," James said, embracing both of his parents, hardly finding the will to back away.

"We're so proud of you James." Monty said, "so proud."

The corridors were empty when James and Sirius got back to the castle, it was just past curfew and the silence was maddening.

"I'm going to bed." James said, turning in the direction of their dormitory, "are you coming?"

Sirius shook his head.

Blacks were known for being restless.

Perhaps that's how a particular pair had crossed paths on that particular night.

Regulus had been having a hard time sleeping.

He hated admitting that fact, one: because it made him appear weak. Two: the reason was most definitely because he missed James and there was only one solution to that issue.

So Regulus laid in the center of the grass on the practice field, wrapped up in James's sweater and talked to the stars.

It was dumb, he knew that, the stars couldn't hear him, nor offer any sort of conversation. But it was a comfort, and he wasn't willing to let it go just yet.

He first spoke to the stars when he was six.

Sirius had taught him how.

"They'll hold all your secrets Reggie," Sirius had whispered in the dark. "All of them, even the ones you'll forget."