Over Each Ruins (Virago Series #2)

until he weakens

And it's bullshit. People really created a stigma to follow throughout these years. They think that because you're a man, hindi ka dapat umiyak o magpakita ng kahinaan, lalong-lalo na sa harap ng babae. Doing so may deflate their ego or worse is they'll get exiled.

Those people... really just gets on my nerves. Their philosophy is unbelievable.

"You look like you're deep in thought. Care to share it?" Ani Novan na kumukuha na ng omelette.

Doon ko lang napansin na nakatayo lang pala ako at hindi sumasama sa pagkain. Napatikhim ako. Agad akong umupo at sumandok ng kanin dahil sa titig niya.

"No way. I think it's inappropriate to talk about your condition in front of the food." Sagot ko.

Blangko niya akong tinignan, "Just fire it away."

Umiling ako, "Ayoko."

Akala ko ay tatahimik na siya lalo na't nagsimula na siyang kumain pero nang matapos siyang ngumuya ay tumikhim ulit siya, parang kinukuha ang atensyon ko.

"You're confused about my behaviour?" He asked seriously.

Muntikan ko na mahulog ang kutsara. Nanlalaki ang matang napatingin ako sakanya, "How the hell did you know?"

"I skimmed through your journal. You left it in the living room," Nagpatuloy siya sa pagkain, "When I told you that their diagnosis of me is a lie, I didn't wait for you to believe me. You're a professional. I know you can see it for yourself."

Magagalit na sana ako dahil pinakealaman niya ang gamit ko pero hindi 'yun ang naging punto sa isip ko. Naisip ko lang na ang kalmado niya talaga tignan habang sinasabi 'yun. Sa sobrang kalkulado rin ng galaw niya ay wala akong may mahita kahit isa ro'n. Kinagat ko na lang ang loob ng labi't mas piniling manahimik sa sinabi niya.

These past few days, he had been honest with me. Hindi ko alam kung magandang bagay ba 'yun o hindi... but I'm guessing it's a good thing rather than the silence and nonchalance he showed me on the first days here.

"Um... will you attend the upcoming fiesta?" I changed our topic.

Plano ko siyang librehin sa isla kasi nakita ko na wallet ko at binigay na nila cellphone ko pabalik. Atsaka, para mapagliwaliw ko ulit siya sa isla.

Tumingin siya sa'kin, "Will you go?"

"If you'll go."

"Alright."

Napatigil ako sa pagsubo. Bago 'yan, ah? Pumayag siya? Akala ko ba ay hindi pa siya pumupunta ro'n gaya ng sabi ni Nigel?

"Atsaka pupunta rin pala ako sa likod ng isla pagkatapos kumain. Titignan ko kung nando'n pa 'yung kaibigan ko. You wanna come?" Tanong ko ulit.

He took minutes before answering but he nodded silently. Nagdiwang ang loob-loob ko ro'n lalo na't lagi niya pinauunlakan ang imbitasyon kong lumabas. Looks like he was absolute when he said that he wants to get treated... even though we won't do any counselling and my plan is just to indulge him with natural treatment.

Nang matapos kami kumain ay tsaka ako naligo at naghanda ng dadalhin. Namataan ko rin ang aparato ko sa may side table pero wala akong load kaya hindi ko man lang mareplyan ang kahit isa sa mga tawag o mensahe ng mga kaibigan ko.

Aster texted me that we need to unwind by some time. Paris told me that she thinks she likes somebody now. Vienna asked me if my house in Cadiz is empty kasi pupunta raw siya do'n at magtatago. Some of my friends asked in our group chat when we were planning for a get together but the rest of us have unmatched schedules kaya wala rin may natutuloy. I also expected IMI to message me at some point, but I received none from them.