So, It's you (FreenBecky)

Chapter 19

T H E A

"YOU'RE NOT making this a big deal, are you?" She said, nonchalantly.

I can't believe this!

Bitch.

"Chây." (Yes) Sabay pagbitaw ko ng mga kamay.  I thought... "W-Why are you doing this?" I say, trying to stop my voice from shaking. I feel slighted because of what she did!

"Doing what?" Blanko at bagot pa rin nitong sinabi.

Pagak akong napatawa dahil sa naging reaksyon nito, subalit nagpupuyos ang kalooban 'kong pinakatitigan ko ito. My mind is in chaos. Naguguluhan ako."Why do I feel so vulnerable when it comes to you? I don't understand. You made me feel... worthless." I look away.

Sighing. "You are not worthless," I heard.

"Then, why?! Why are you doing this to me?!"  My mind was spinning back to what she did earlier and how she made me feel and look like a fool. "Alam mo kung ano 'yong nakakatawa?" A bubble of laughter escaped from my lips. "I was a fool to think I could trust you. I really wanted to trust you but in an instant, you've changed that." I shake my head, and I can't stop the words from tumbling out. "I thought you c-cared for me but- I was w-wrong." I could hear my voice waver and took another step back. I need to distance myself from her. Pakiramdam ko kasi hindi ako makahinga.

Clearly, she was shocked by what she heard. Then, her expression quickly turns to guilt.

"I... I'm sorry I made you feel that way. I don't even know what is really happening to me," anito.

Pagak akong napatawa sa harapan nito. Sus! She's just making excuses. How pathetic. "Even if you did know. You would've done the same thing because that's what you always do to me." I sarcastically say, smiling up at her.

"Miss Addison--" she calls my name like it's an apology, but-

"Save it. I don't want to hear it." Pagtalikod ko rito.

Napahakbang ako palapit sa maliit na higaan. Hindi ako sigurado kung makakatulog ba ako ngayong gabi. Ugh. Bakit ba kasi ako sumama sa babaeng to?

I hate her!

Naiinis pa rin ako sa ginawa nito. Ngunit nang magbalik sa 'king isipan ang mga salitang binitawan ko. Wala sa sariling napapamura na lamang ako. What am I doing? Bakit ko ba sinasabi sa kanya ang mga bagay na 'yon? Tuloy, parang gusto kong batukan ang sarili sa mga sandaling ito.

Trust her. Nakakatawa man. Pero 'yon na talaga ang gusto kong gawin ng mga oras na 'yon. The way she looked at me earlier. I can see it. I can hear it. She's worried. But it turns out the other way. Bigla-bigla nalang itong umalis at iniwan niya ako. Like- what the fuck?

Bakit niya ginawa 'yon?

Nagpupuyos ang dibdib ko sa tuwing naiisip ko ang rason. Is it? Ginawa niya lang ba 'yon para ipahiya ako't magmukhang tanga?

Damn her!

Sa halip na magmukmok, pinili ko na lamang ang humiga. Nakarinig naman ako ng mga yabag mula rito at pumasok ito sa maliit na banyo siguro ay para maglinis ng katawan. Hindi mapakali na nagpabaling-baling ako ng higa. Ngayon lang kasi napasok sa utak ko na makakatabi ko pala sa pagtulog ang babaeng 'yon.