Actor(Oshi no ko)

Prologue: Noah Anderson

"He's too gloomy."

"We're sorry, but you're not the one we're looking for."

"It's too bad Noah, I'm sure you will find another family."

"I want another kid. He's too quiet."

Hearing all of their comments deeply pierced my heart, and I found myself becoming more gloomy as I continued getting rejected.

While most of them spoke gently to not hurt my feelings, there were a select few who didn't think I was intelligent enough to understand so they insulted me in front of my face.

This cycle of rejection continued until the present, where I got rejected by another family just now.

The tears that I held back until now decided to escape, and I was crying fully with snot dripping down my nose.

Do I not deserve love?

This question plagued my mind the entire time I cried and I only stopped when I could no longer continue. My throat hurts, my eyes are red and puffy, and I can barely breathe.

As I lay on my bed, trying to recover, I couldn't help but feel like a burden to everyone around me. The rejection had become a familiar feeling, but it never got easier. I just wanted to feel wanted and loved, but it seemed like that was never going to happen.

After a few minutes of recovering, I knew that I couldn't stay in this state for long, so I took a deep breath and wiped away my tears. I got up from my bed and looked over the window. Looking outside, the sun was gone and was replaced by the moon.

I began to wonder how long I had been crying as I gazed out the window since the sun was still shining when I first started. Suddenly, my stomach rumbled, reminding me that I had yet to eat dinner. As I turned away from the window to head towards the door, I overheard faint voices outside

I strained to listen, pressing my ear against the door in the hopes of catching some words. "Why was Noah crying in the room earlier?" a young girl's voice asked. "Don't you know?" a boy replied. "He was rejected by another family again." The words hit me hard, a sharp pain piercing my heart.

"Makes sense. I wouldn't like a brother like him. He's too gloomy." Hearing those familiar words, I felt a familiar sense of despair wash over me as I clenched my fist. 

Once again, they don't want me. Once again, my personality is driving them away. 

Just what does it take for people to finally accept me?

My thoughts were interrupted by the boy "It's a waste though. Noah is very cute and I would love to have a little brother like him. The only problem with him is really his personality. If he was a cheerful and energetic child instead, I'm sure he would be instantly adopted."

The girl agreed, "You're right. If Noah were very energetic and not gloomy like he is now, I'm sure he would be popular. In fact, I would like him to be my big brother if that was the case."

I heard enough.

I quickly rushed to my bed and dived onto it, no longer feeling hungry.

As I lay down, I started to ponder over the words they just said.

Is being gloomy the only reason I wasn't well-liked among the parents?

I had considered this before, but I never had enough evidence to prove it because I never spoke to anyone about it.

So, does this mean if I change, I can find love?

For the first time in a long while, I started to feel hope.