Mountain Troll

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[That Halloween night, the great hall has floating Jack O'Lanterns in place of the candles. Hayley notices an empty spot on the bench.]

Hayley: Where's Hermione?

Neville: Parvati Patil said that she wouldn't come out of the girl's bathroom. She said that she'd been in there all afternoon...crying.

People turn to glare at Ron, while he tries to sink into the couch.

[Hayley glances at Ron with a disapproving look on her face; Ron shrugs. Suddenly, Professor Quirrell comes running into the Great Hall in panic.]

Quirrell: TROLL! IN THE DUNGEON! T-TROOLLL IN THE DUNGEON!! [Dumbledore rises from his seat in concern. Everyone look at Quirrell and he stops and there is utter silence.] Thought you ought to know.

[He passes out.]

"He's the bloody Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher!" Someone exclaims.

"Jesus, Dumbledore. Hire better people!"

[The room is silent, and then everyone freaks out, screaming and running.]

Dumbledore: SILLLLLEEENNNNCEEEEE! [Everyone stops and calms down.] Everyone will please, not panic. Now, Prefects will lead their houses back to the dormitories. Teachers will follow me to the dungeons.

Girl: Hufflepuff, this way!

Boy: Stay together!

[Snape looks aghast, and he walks out through a doorway.]

"Sus" A Hufflepuff boy mutters under their breath but the people around them hear it and they nod in agreement.

[A bit later, Percy is leading the house down a corridor.]

Percy: Gryffindor's, keep up please. And stay alert!

Hayley: How could a troll get in?

Ron: Not by itself. Trolls are really stupid. Probably people playing jokes. [Suddenly, Hayley stops and pulls Ron aside.] What?

Hayley: Hermione! She doesn't know!

"No! Don't go after the troll." Remus reprimands Hayley.

[The two separate themselves from the crowd. They run down corridors. They start running down a hall when they stop, because there is a grunting noise and a large shadow on the wall.]

Ron: I think the troll's left the dungeon!

"Thanks, Captain Obvious."

[Hayley pulls Ron into a doorway, they peer out to see a large, ugly troll thunks by into a room.]

Hayley: Its going into the Girl's Bathroom!

[In the bathroom, Hermione emerges from a stall, wiping her eyes. She stops when she sees something. The troll is standing there. Hermione backs up, into the stall just as the troll raises its club and smashes the top part of the stalls. Hermione screams. Hayley and Ron come bursting in.]

"OH SHIT!"

"RUN!"

"MERLINS SAGGY BALLS!"

Hayley: Hermione, move!

[The troll smashes the remaining stalls.]

Hermione: Help! Help! [The boys start throwing wood pieces at the troll.]

Ron: Hey, pea brain! [Ron throws wood and hits the troll on the head. Hermione escapes from the stalls to under a sink, but the troll sees her and goes to smash her. It cracks the sink and barely misses Hermione. Hayley cringes.]

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