For Eternity [H.S AU]

03

i love you - Billie Eilish

December 1st, 2021

HARRY STYLES

"Are you sure you'll be okay on your own?" I hear Mitch ask from the other room, and I laugh.

"I've been doing just fine these past few months. Go home," I tell him, leaning against the couch and bringing my knees to my chest.

I leave the tequila bottle next to me, and I intend to get up from the floor, but I fall forward. I catch myself with the help of the couch, and I decide to sit down. I won't be making it to my bed in the state I'm in, so the sofa will be it.

"Do you need help getting to your room?" Mitch walks into the room, and it's like he read my mind.

"I'll be fine," I mutter, lying on the couch facing Mitch.

"No, you won't," his knee lands on the arm of the couch. "I don't know how you're so good at hiding it from her, but I'm not stupid. You haven't been remotely close to okay these past five months."

I chuckle sarcastically, wiping a few tears running down my cheek. "I don't want to talk about it."

"She cares about you."

"So you're saying if she sees the actual state I'm in, she'll get back with me?"

"You know that's now what I meant," he says, standing up and grabbing the tequila bottle from the floor. "You're drinking all the time. You're crying yourself to sleep every day. You're suffering alone unless Astrid is here, and when she is here, do you think Karissa just sits on the couch and watches TV?" He throws the bottle in the trash bin next to him. "She loved you just as much as you love her. Not because she left you means she's not suffering too."

My bottom lip quivers, and I cover my eyes with my hands. "I- I just miss her so fucking much," a choked sob leaves my mouth, and I try to silence them with my hands.

"Then try to get her back."

I take my hands off my face to look at him. "You think I fucking haven't?"

"You kneeling and begging, saying nothing, but I'm so fucking sorry, Isa, is not going to bring her back. You know that, but you're so fucking full of yourself even to realize what she actually wants."

"She said she'll support my career, Mitch. She knew how difficult this could get," I raise my voice at him.

He rolls his eyes and shakes his head, taking a moment to collect himself before yelling at me. "My point is going right over your head. She doesn't want you to quit. She wants you to fucking care about her just as much as you care about your career."

"But I fucking do. I did."

"No, you didn't, Harry," his hand slams against the door, and I flinch. "You don't want her to get a job. You want Astrid to be homeschooled. You want them to be home all the time while you get to travel around and have fun? All these years, you've wanted both to live your lifestyle, but why do they have to adjust to your shit instead of you doing the same."

I never really thought of it. I always just assumed they were okay with me being away and Isa being at home taking care of Astrid most time. The only time she would have time for herself was when she would go out with Aurora, and it was infrequent she did because I was always away on tour, or too busy in the studio.

"Get out."

"Harry, this was the only way you could listen."

"Just get the fuck out."