His Dove (Loki Laufeyson)

Part 130 (Loki's POV)

Loki

Queen. It was clear now that she was queen of Vanaheim, and that drove a stake straight through Loki's stomach.

He could only think of one practical way she became queen.

He tried his best not to crowd her, though he wanted nothing more than to cradle his obviously tired girl against him and allow her the rest she very clearly needed.

She was paling by the second, her eyes beginning to slowly form the dark bags that he knew would be from stress and exhaustion. He could feel her glances at him every few seconds, as if she was uncomfortable looking away. As if she were afraid of what would happen while her eyes were diverted.

He tried his best to glance from a distance to see her hand, silently begging the norns not to see a different ring. He doubted his heart could take it if he did. He doubted his temper could take it.

Fjolnir, of all people? He'd lose it, he was sure. He'd already thought of a thousand different homicidal fantasies in the last hour, all of which starred the Vanir king.

All he could see were her gloves, which she worked her magic around as she healed warrior after warrior. It was slower than she had been before, seemingly more labor intensive.

Finally, when she had finished the last of the majorly wounded, she went towards the hall for bandages and more pain relievers.

Loki took his opportunity, grabbing her and spinning her to face him. She instantly tried to turn away, but Loki only gripped more firmly, pressing her against the wall to cage her in.

"Lo, I need t-"

"Do not walk away from me." He meant to sound stern, possibly angry even. He was frustrated by her lack of attention, enraged by the idea of her being with someone else, possibly marrying someone else. But he sounded more broken than anything when he spoke, his voice cracking as he said the last word.

"Loki, I c-..." Her cheek was between her teeth as she attempted to keep her sly court face, but it crumbled once again within seconds. Her eyes instantly went back to blue again, her frown deepening. "I can't work if I..." her breathing was growing heavier and more rapid, as unsteady as Loki had ever seen. "I-I need..."

Suddenly, he remembered that super soldier's memories. She sank to the ground immediately, pulling Loki down along with her as she clung to him in a futile attempt to ground herself. She was having a panic attack.

"Hey, no. No, no, no. You're okay, it's okay. Please, darling. Deep breaths." He tried, attempting to soothe her with a hand on her cheek.

But it wasn't working. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head as she slumped to the side, her head only missing the ground due to Loki's quick hand.

"Don't take it personally. She can't stop them when she's that exhausted, unless she keeps the guard up." Loki heard a familiar voice behind him, turning to watch as Fandral removed his helmet. "I assumed it would happen soon. I had the healers keep a room clear for her. Ingrid and Rammi are napping in the next room over."

The soldier grinned with the last statement, and Loki knew immediately that at least one of them had to have been blipped. It'd make sense that he'd want to keep them close to him if one of them had been absent for 5 years; it would make sense that he'd want them to be within eyesight as he performed his duties.

He looked sympathetically at Fandral, who sighed. "I lost them both."

"I'm sorry." Loki said truly. He couldn't imagine how difficult that could have been for him. He couldn't imagine how heartbreaking it had to be to lose the most important person, or in Fandral's case people, in your life.

"They're back now. As are you." He smiled, "This way, they've already been instructed to guard this room for their queen." He said as he pointed to the guardsmen.

"Their queen." Loki scoffed, lifting the girl up. "And where's their king?"

"Carrying his wife, obviously."

Loki furrowed his eyebrows at that, staring at Fandral as he adjusted her more comfortably to his chest.

"She didn't marry Fjolnir, Loki." Fandral sighed, already knowing Loki's likely worry. He bit his cheek as he walked up to the door, nodding at the two Jotuns who already stood guard on each side. "She, uh... Killed him." He said as he opened the door.

If Loki didn't have his court face on for the guards, his jaw would've dropped. He could feel the falter in his eyes at Fandral's words.

"And Freyr? Was he.. Also wiped from existence?"

That one earned a chuckle from Fandral. A real one, "Oh, you're gonna be so pissed."

"What?" He asked now, laying his wife down in the bed and using a quick bit of magic to change her clothes for her.

The gloves that were once on her hands vanished in a simple wave of his hand, and Loki stared in awe at the blackened fingertips, the gold swimming within them, seeming to engulf the darkness as it swirled.

Even with that, though, her beautiful gold ring, the emerald still glistening in the light, shined on her left hand. It brought a small smile to his lips. She hadn't taken it off. 5 years, and she kept it on.

"She should explain that one to you herself." Fandral said as he cleared his throat. "The rest, I'm sure I can do."

"Then start." Loki growled.

"She and Fafnir had a plan, after the blip." Fandral sighed, "I don't know who came up with it, though I suspect it was Dani... She was so angry after. She was..." He shook his head. "Your brother was dumb enough to allow Fjolnir in New Asgard at the same time as her first visit, about 6 months later. I knew something had to be up when she impulsively decided to go back to Vanaheim with him."

Loki bit his tongue as he watched Fandral struggle to find the words, looking over her one more time.

"She kept her distance, but she gave him hope that he could replace you. Enough hope that he was stupid, blind to her other activities." He recalled.

"She poisoned herself when she poisoned Freyr, to make it convincing. That is exactly how conniving she became, exactly how drastic the risks she was willing to take were... When the Ylfings arrived to storm the palace, she had already gained the loyalty of the sell swords and all the commoners. I wasn't in the room, but according to Fafnir she stabbed Fjolnir in the heart as soon as the bells alarmed."

"She wouldn't do that." He whispered, shaking his head.

"She wasn't the same, Loki." He earned in response. "You didn't see how she was after the blip. Your brother... He thought she was going to hurt herself. He was convinced she was going to lose it completely, she was destructive, depressed... It wasn't until later that she regained her grace."

"How?" He asked.

Loki remembered how he had regained the humanity Fandral spoke of. He simply met Dani.

A part of him hoped she, perhaps, had found someone like herself to bring her out of that dark place.

A more selfish part hoped she had gotten through it herself, though Loki felt terrible for that thought.

"Fafnir." Was Fandral's short response. "He gave her... Peace of mind, I think. Hope that there was something better for her later on."

Loki thought about that statement for a moment, before he found himself glancing back to Dani's fingers.

"Is that-"

"Let her explain it to you. She hasn't explained it to anyone."

Loki felt his chest sink. Heimdall had warned him of a dragon's bond, just how severely their soul connected to their chosen. And he had never put it together. She was turning into the same sick being as Fafnir because of him.

All those times he was willing to shove himself on Valhalla's doorstep to save her, he was actually giving them both a death sentence, though hers was to be drawn out and torturous.

"Continue with what you can, Fandral." He sighed. "Please."