I'm Not Okay {FIN & EDITING}

{72} Flowers

"Oh..." I said and narrowed my eyes. What the hell was wrong with him? He wanted to tell me about his love life? And that he might be bisexual?

"He was nice, nicer than the chick; he had dark green eyes, and dark brown hair. Something about these two made another side of me come out, but then one of them found out about the other and the chaos came." He coughed and closed his eyes. I shot up in my seat, but then he opened his eyes.

"Don't worry. It hurts just a little bit," he said and gave me a reassuring smile.

"I'm sorry," I said. 

His smile dropped while he shook his head. "Don't be. My stupid friend told me what he was doing and he said that if I wouldn't do what he says, he'll tell everyone my secret."

"You shouldn't care what other people think of you," I argued.  

"You do when the person you thought was nice turns into a rapist and it's the guy you've been crushing on." 

My eyes widen and I sat back down. "So that guy was the same one who you liked?" 

Shane Nolan nodded and I felt sympathy for him. Not only he did have feelings for two people, but even the person he liked blackmailed him.

I remembered what happened and wondered how could Shane Nolan like a person who said and did evil things, even after knowing that Shane Nolan liked him. Will Rhett do that to me? Would he betray me? Oh yeah, he already did.

"Do you still like him?" I asked. He sighed through his nose and stared at me. I got uncomfortable and I got annoyed.

"Why are you staring at me? Is there something on my face?"

"No, but there's a flowers behind you," he said and frowned. I turned around and saw beautiful roses in a glass case filled with water. There were small balloons that said "Get well" and "I'll see you soon".

They were beautiful but not as much as the flower that I drew. I looked back at Shane Nolan and he wasn't frowning anymore. He was smiling with his eyes closed. I thought he died while smiling but his heart meteor was still beating. Was that what my mom meant? If I smiled more, was I going to be beautiful? If I put a smile on my dead flower, would it be beautiful? No. The answer is No.

"I'm guessing you choose the guy?" I asked.

Shane Nolan opened his eyes. "I guess so, but I'm not going to take him back so easily. He'll have to improve for me."

"You love him, don't you?"

He didn't say anything. He was biting his lower lip and I knew he was thinking. I got up and opened the curtains. The snow was still light but it covered the sidewalks, trees, cars, and everything was coated in white.

"Whoa, it's beautiful." I heard Shane Nolan said.

I looked up the sky. "Yeah, it's beautiful."

"Just like you," a whispered came from my right side, but I didn't look. I didn't need to look to know my mother's voice. I knew it by heart. So, I just smiled widely.  I scrunched up my eyebrows and turned and said, "What?"

"Your story, Cassandra said it's similar to mine." Shane Nolan said. I needed to stop zoning out. I looked at the door and I saw the shadows of Cassandra and the nurse. They talked awful a lot to each other.

"All you have to know is that I haven't picked the one that I really like," I said.

He gave me  a sad smile. "When you like someone, remember to send them flowers and show them a lot of smiles."

I chuckled and nodded. "I'll remember that Shane Nolan." 

The door opened and the same nurse that Cassandra has been talking to came in.

"Sorry Zayden but Shane needs his rest," she said and gave me a warm smile.

I nodded and put on Cassandra's hat and gloves. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" I said as I stopped on the door way. 

Shane Nolan gave me a grin. "Sure thing." 

Then I walked out of his room with Cassandra by my side.

"He told you about his story?" Cassandra asked and I nodded. "Well, what do you think? Is it similar to yours? Do you think Shane Nolan and you could possibly be friends?"

I looked at her for a moment. I wanted to tell her that I heard my mom, but I didn't want to change the subject. Cassandra would start crying and I didn't like to see her tears. My mom once told me if I smiled more, it was going to make me more beautiful. That was the first time she was seriously wrong. The only thing I have to put a smile on was my dead flower. That flower needed kindness and memories to start living again. 

"Yeah, we'll be great friends," I said and gave her a grin. She grinned back and we walked to my house.