Power of the Pum Pum (From Guns to God)

Chapter 25

Tafari oozed resentment and frustration, and all I could do was listen the best that I could when he rambled about how much he missed his brother and wanted to get rid of the people that killed him. His brother's funeral was fast approaching. The police had released his body the day after Tafari got out of jail.

I couldn't bare the pain in his voice when he recalled how they stabbed his brother.

"Them use one stab and take the man 3 points star" he ran his right fingers throw his freshly cut hair.
"One bomboclaat stab and just like that the man gone" he sniffled.
Tafari reached into his pocket and pulled out a paper bag. He shook his head and took weed and grabba from the bag. "man nuh stay like me eno, em humble"
He paused for a moment and I watched as the light dimmed from his otherwise joyous expression.
"Me bredda gone" he mumbled and gazed in thin air.

I had to change the subject.
"Weh them name?" I muttered and cringe. I shouldn't have asked. I wasn't mentally prepared for this. A part of me feared that their existence is going to cripple my relationship somehow. I've heard several stories about baby mother drama. I didn't want that for myself.

Tafari looked in my direction. A glimmer of the light came back in his eyes. "Who you step son them?"
"Kayden and Zayden" he took pulls of his spliff.

I noticed that since he came out he was smoking more often and he didn't care whether it was in my presence or not. He was never like this.

I observed him through the corner of my eyes. Something changed about him. It wasn't that he had trimmed his locs. Something about his aura was off and it made me tense.

I prayed the growing pain he had would subside quickly or at least eventually.

"Is this going to change things between us?" I asked fearing his respond. Tafari glanced at me and got up. He was seated on a chair at my bedroom window. He walked over to me and sat on the handle of the single sofa I was seated in. He reached for my arm. This time I didn't pull away. 

"Staci life is full of pushs and pulls"
He nodded, staring into my eyes, "ups and downs baby"

"Mi nuh sure what will happen to me later on but one thing me sure about... Nothing nor no one can replace you in my heart"

I believed him. 

"You have my heart and me ago make things right just to show you that I can be the man you want me to be"
"You alone believe inna me Staci"
"All when me fuck up me can always feel good that a good girl out there check fi mi and have me back"

He slid down beside me and I adjusted my body so that he could sit comfortably.

"You and me against the world" he wrapped an arm around my neck and nuzzled the flesh there.
"You a the only girl me fuck and no worry bout"
"When me round suh me naven did a medz say you a bun me cause me trust you like that"

I couldn't shake the feeling of guilt that I felt creeping up on me. I didn't deserve his trust. I had betrayed him and every day more and more I dreaded the fact.

Tafari's speech was followed by complete silence between us for a moment. I wanted to tell him about Bobby so we could move pass it and figure out a way forward. How could I tell him? I couldn't disappoint him. 

"Yah think bout?" Tafari asked and jolted me from my thoughts.

I shook my head
"Nothing" 

"Sure b?" He kissed the side of my face. I loved his random kisses. For a notorious bad man he was a hopeless romantic whenever he was around me. Come to think of it, I never met the notorious Tikka, I've only heard stories about him. I couldn't imagine Tafari doing any of what they accused him of.

"Nuh worry bout nothing hear?"
"Everything ago be alright soon" he assured and kissed the side of my face again.

I loved this man. He was my everything. 

"I applied for Uwi" I blurted after I remembered that I never mentioned it to him.

"Oh yeah?" He grinned and I knew it was from a place of genuine excitement. "That good Staci"

He kissed my face again. That was three kisses in less than 5 mins."that mean me affi go get a Banga and start knock it"

"Weh that mean?" It better not mean what I thought it meant.

Tafari chuckled, "nuh worry you pretty likkle head"

I swung my legs over his and turned to face him.
"Tell me Sir!" I demanded but instead of responding, he slipped a hand inside my blouse to fondle my breast. 

I held onto his hand, "tell me nuh!"

He kissed my face again, "you a go need money Staci so me affi go work hard" 

I rolled my eyes "make sure!"

I wasn't the only one struggling with our new seasonal transition and besides I fucked Bobby so Tafari and I were even. If I should stay mad at him any longer I would be a hypocrite. I needed to figure out a way to accept the parts of his life that I cannot change. Atleast for now.

My mind reflected on Bobby.
I wondered if he realized that I blocked him as yet.

"How mi nuh see your chatty mouth friend a link you?"
"Sadamite gyal deh fi dead eno"

Before I could answer a car pulled up at my gate. The driver hunked his horn twice then I heard the car door slam.

"Staciann!" a voice shouted.
"Staciann!" the voice shouted again.

I knew it was bobby. I wanted the earth to open and take me in.

"A who that?" Tafari asked and rushed to peep through my window.