Judaiyaan [SLOW UPDATE]

Melting

Rajpal started being uneasy in his chair. Waiting for a report had never made him so nervous. The pen in his hand tapped on the table, speaking out his restlessness. His eyes straightly stared at the clock on the wall. Forty eight hours have passed since the last time he received contact from Samar. Nothing has been heard from him since then.

A lieutenant knocked on his office door and gave a salute to him. It was his adjutant. His face was hardening when he saw a map in the lieutenant's hand.

“So?”

“No sign of contact from Major Chauhan, sir. We have tried so many times with radio, satellites, but no results. Long wave, ultra long wave, everything.” Said the lieutenant.

Rajpal held his breath for a moment while clenching his fist. “And Uncle Gurdeep?”

The lieutenant shook his head. “No sign either. It was out of radar.”

“The Red Cross update?”

The lieutenant shook his head. Rajpal let out a big breath while looking out the window. The sun was shining brightly out there, the ray was wiping his hard face. He did not say much because he did not know what to say. Like most fathers' problems, he had not much way to express his feelings to his children. The last time they met did not end well. This mission was important for the Indian Army. But Samar mistook it as his punishment for what he did with Ruhani. Rajpal still had a lot to explain but it seemed his right to do that had been revoked.

“Sir, the high command is initiating a hero funeral for Major Chauhan if he cannot be found until next week. Uncle Gurdeep Mission is so important to us that they think they need to give a final salute to him.”

“The search had only been running for two days and yet they already had such a plan?” He turned to his adjutant with eyebrows furrowed. His grim face was enough to make the lieutenant shivers. “Anything else?”

“Major General Trivedi is expecting to see you in his office, Sir. He said it was about Telbro Code One.”

When he heard about Telbro code one, Rajpal immediately rose from his seat and dismissed his adjutant. He flipped a photo album on his desk and pulled out a key. There was a safe in his office, hidden in a place where the Tiranga flew high. He pulled out a file from the safe. Strictly Confidential was written on the front page. He brought the file to General Trivedi. The file was the left hand. Samar and his Uncle Gurdeep were the right hand. If they were used together, it would lift up a thing that would explode the whole Indian Army Headquarters.

**

“Lag jaa gale,
Ke phir yeh,
Haseen raat ho na ho...

Shayad phir iss janam mein,
Mulaqaat ho na ho...”

Ruhani stroked Samar's hair softly while humming their favorite song. Instead of playing love songs, they preferred to play Lag Jaa Gale whenever they danced together. It reminded them of their love that has no edge. A forbidden, illicit love. The one which they could not live without the shadow of sins and big responsibility on their shoulders. They knew it. They were aware that they had nothing to justify it. But like the lyrics suggest, shayad phir iss janam mein mulaqaat ho na ho.

“Humko mili hain aaj yeh,
Ghadiyan naseeb se...

Jee bhar ke dekh lijiye,
Humko qareeb se...

Phir aapke naseeb mein,
Yeh baat ho na ho...

Shayad phir iss janam mein,
Mulaqaat ho na ho...”

That was a quiet evening. There was a moon and a few stars depending on the sky for their fate. Ruhani hum harmonized with the ripples of the sea that was reflecting the moonlight. She was not the only one awake on that boat. Mahika was there too. They were awake because they spent the whole day sleeping while Samar and Darshan did their watch duty. Now it was their turn. They had both men sleeping on their lap. No one opened their mouths to talk to each other, just stealing glances then averted it again if one caught the other.

Ruhani stopped humming after Mahika caught her watching her. Her eyes were now set on Samar’s sleeping face. She knew Mahika was staring at her but she decided not to pay attention to it. She did not want to turn this boat into a warzone 2.0.

“What happened? Losing your golden voice suddenly?”

Ruhani looked up. Right on, her eyes met Mahika's eyes which sparkled with warmth. They were totally different from the last time she stared at it. Lost, empty, lacking something that she did not know what.

“The first thing you must not want to have while being lost at sea is silence. So, please, continue.”

Ruhani knew she should continue the song. She saw something in Mahika's eyes. Something familiar to what she thought deep in her mind. Something that she herself could not define. A bit of anxiety, mixed up with a feeling of finally being free and completed with excitement about what would happen next. Whatever it was, she knew they shared the same feeling and thought at that point of time. As words and talks went by, the iceberg that they built to confine themselves was melting sluggishly and beautifully.

“Paas aaiye ke hum nahin,
Aayenge baar baar...

Bahein gale mein dal ke,
Hum ro lein zar zar...”

A tear dropped on Samar's face. Ruhani immediately wiped it away from his cheek. She rubbed her own cheek and found it was already soaking with tears. Samar only shifted his body closer and hid his face on her stomach. Ruhani glanced at Mahika to see her response but she just stayed still in her seat. She was watching her but she did not say a word. Gladly, that was what exactly Ruhani needed, a space to deal with her own feelings.

“Aankhon se phir,
Yeh pyaar ki,
Barsaat ho na ho...

Shayad phir iss janam mein,
Mulaqaat ho na ho...

Lag jaa gale,
Ae... Ae...”

Mahika smiled thinly when the song ended. She looked at Ruhani who was still handling her own tears. She understood what she thought. The sorrow was airing all around the boat. Ruhani had just fallen into the pond while she had drowned in it many years ago. The feeling of belonging to someone which became vague and smaller each time she tried to get more.

“That is our favorite song. Samar and I.” Ruhani started to open herself. “The song is us.”

“I have already felt what you feel right now. You are myself fifteen years ago. Afraid to lose him but afraid to lose your life too, while he is not a part of it.” Mahika looked down at Darshan then kissed his forehead.

“But you can't lose anything you don't own. He does not belong to you. He never does.”

Ruhani was quiet. No matter how much she hated what Mahika said, it was the truth. She badly wanted to deny it, saying that Samar was only hers, that Samar belonged to her, but the truth says the opposite. The reality was not in line with what she believed. How cruel.

“There are three rules in this relationship. First, don't hope. Second, don't expect. Third, don't think. We started the relationship with fun. To have some fun. So, let it just be it. Putting more hopes on this cliff would only bring you closer to death.”

There were too many consequences for those who were willing to be in this kind of relationship. Love aside, even their existence and how they perceived what they had would always been seen as betrayal. Society aside, even their own family would not take their side. It was only between her and him, and how or when they wanted it to end.

Ruhani and Mahika looked at the shoreline in front of them. They would infiltrate the island tomorrow in the first light. Samar said it would be better to do it with the sun as they did not know what they would face when they touched the ground. All four of them had the same thought about the island, that it might give them a proper shelter and a better life.

~ TO BE CONTINUED ~