The fall of our secrets

Chapter30

"That's said, I want to officially welcome you to our family," Damian said as he handed me a stack of papers.

Taking a look at them, I realised he wanted me to sign the Omerta oath. I skimmed through the words all the while thinking about how I would have been signing my way to a new life if Alberto was my only enemy.

I signed my name on the three dots at the end of the papers and gave them back to Damian.

Ethan reached over and squeezed my leg while giving me an adoring smile. I don't understand what I did to deserve such a look from him.

I forced a smile on my face and focused back on Damian who was speaking once again. "Since your team was successful in every mission I assigned. I want you two to continue working together. I would be generous this time and give you the choice to refuse."

I took a deep breath and readied myself to give the answer that would ruin everything.

"I would like to take your offer," I said at the same time that Ethan expressed his agreement with a smile on his face.
Said smile vanished slowly and was replaced with a frown.

Damian looked between us in confusion and rose from his chair. "I see you need some time to discuss things. I would give you some privacy."

I wanted to scream at him so he come back. I didn't need any alone time with Ethan. Even his presence could weaken my resolve. How could I survive his disappointment and hurt?

The door closed with a soft thud, and we stayed in silence for a few moments.
"Why?" Ethan asked in a calm tone.

"I told you before that I wanted to try new things." I tried to act as if I didn't care about how his green eyes hardened.

"New things?" Ethan chuckled humourlessly and stood up from his seat.

"Ethan, I don't know why you are making a big deal out of this. The missions are done and over. For me, it is an invaluable chance to explore new things and make a name for myself."

I knew the words I was saying were bullshit, and Ethan called me out on my blatant lie. "You are lying."

"Is this the only conclusion you can draw?" I challenged with a raised eyebrow.

"You know it is the truth, Nina. You are hiding things from me. More specifically, I can tell they are big and could change everything between us. You betrayed me once, Nina. You killed Alberto even though you knew I wanted him alive. Your actions deprived me of the most thing I have ever wanted, but I let it go and forgave you. Sadly, all of this didn't matter to you at all." 

At my silence, Ethan slumped back in his chair and looked at me with the same hard eyes, but I could see the sadness in there as well.

"It is not like this, Ethan. I just want to be a part of your family. For that to happen, I need to prove myself and my worth." This time, I was telling a half-truth, but apparently, Ethan didn't see it.

"Stop it. Stop lying to me. Just shut up, Nina. I told you every single detail about me. You know everything about my history. And here you are lying to my face without batting an eyelash. Do you call this a relationship, Nina?" Ethan said in a defeated voice.

I moved from my spot and sat beside him. I clasped his hand as I knew it may be the last time I would be allowed to do so. "A relationship? I don't know the meaning of this word, Ethan."

"You don't need a dictionary to understand it. You just need to let go and live. It will come to you eventually. Heck, it is in front of you. I tried my hardest to lay out my feelings in the open, but you are too blind to the point of not seeing it."