Watch Us Crash and Burn

Chapter 6} Poker Face: Gwen's POV

Dawn hasn't come back from their date yet, and I'm starting to get worried. Finally, they walk in, looking like they walked straight out of a nightmare.

"Where in the eff were you?" I asked, maybe a little pissed that they did something so stupid. Maybe I'm a little off with my anger, but it's just because I care. Dawn ran into me, wrapping their arms around me. I hug them back, while they sob into my shoulder. I stroke their hair.

"He drugged me then harassed me" They mumbled into my chest.

"He really did that?" I ask, sitting next to them on the bed.

They grab a pill bottle and put two pills in their mouth. Then they go over into the corner and give themselves some more tattoos.

"Hey, I'm heading out," I say, grabbing a bag from my bunk bed and leaving. I walk down the stairs and head out to the driveway. My old, beat-up, 2008 silver Pontiac G6 is waiting for me in the driveway.

There are tons of bumper stickers on the back, mostly from states I've driven to. Dawn and I take loads of road trips over the weekends, which is technically illegal for minors, but my parents don't care. My car's name is Delilah. She's not much, but I love the low-down feel on the road and how fast she can go.

I back out and speed all the way to the gas station on 43rd street. I fuel up and head inside.

First I head to the ATM to get some cash. I took it from my personal card. I'll need it where I'm going. I put a wad of 50s in my backpack and decided to buy myself a bag of chips and a Mountain Dew.

I head to the register and get that urge. The one. I feel it in my fingers. My stomach gets a fluttering feeling. I look at the lighters on display. I need one.

When the cashier isn't looking I grab a lighter and shove it in my hoodie pocket. He turns back to me.

"Is that everything?" He asks, referring to the chips and pops.

"Yes," I say, looking down at my hands. I hand him the stuff and he scans it. I feel like I'm going to barf. He gives the stuff back, I pay, and I walk out. I take the lighter out of my pocket. It's bright green. I don't even need it. Damn kleptomania.

I don't tell anyone about it, not even Dawn. I feel like it's a monster that eats me up. At the grocery store, the gas station, everywhere. Even at my own friends' houses.

It's not even stuff I need, just useless junk. I put the lighter in my pocket. Maybe I'll give it to Dawn later.

Driving to where I want to go doesn't take long. I pull my hood up just before I enter. It's better if people don't know my age here, or how I look.

I'm only sad that I can't show off my makeup today. I have purple eyeshadow on, with winged liner and deep blue lip gloss.

My black doc Martin boots clunk loudly, even on the blood-red carpet. My outfit is attracting a few looks, mostly from creepy old guys. I'm wearing fishnet stockings under a short black skirt and a black hoodie.

My headphones are in so I don't hear what people are saying about me. I head to the table that I always go to. This is my other bad hobby if you can call it that. Gambling. It's addicting. I'm at the red night casino. The room is hazy and filled with smoke. Poker is what I normally play. I'm a dirty cheater sometimes, but not tonight.

The poker table I play at is old. The green surface is faded, and the chips are of poor quality and broken. But it's my lucky table. All the guys I play with are here. I don't know them, but I play with them because they have crap luck and a lot of money.

They all look similar. Baggy clothes and a five o'clock shadow. One of the guys offers me a cigarette, and I take it, lighting it with my new lighter. I only smoke at the casino. I deal first, like always, and we all play many rounds.

Everyone is betting extra high tonight, including me. We also get drinks, and I admit I'm a little tipsy. But my poker face is good enough that it doesn't matter.

I stay there, at the casino, for hours, and I win five thousand dollars in total. Less than normal, but I also won a fancy Rolex watch.

I decide I'm done playing for tonight and I head to the bar instead. I'm underage but the bartender can't see my face so it doesn't matter. I also have a fake ID just in case.

"Three shots please," I mutter, sitting down. I plug my headphones into my phone but only put in one earbud. If someone's talking to me, I want to hear it so they don't think I'm ignoring them. I am hard of hearing, so it's tricky to hear in here even without headphones. I open my Musicfy and pick my favorite fall-out boy rock station. I like a lot of different types of music, mostly rock music from varying decades, but also some other shit.

After a minute the shots come. I took down all three of them in less than a minute, my throat burning. I'm definitely a little drunk.

I leave the bar without paying and go around the casino, stealing people's cash and wallets from their pockets. It feels horrible but good at the same time; kleptomania.

At around three in the morning, I stumble out of the casino, drunk and loaded with cash. I drive home, speeding by over twenty MPH, but I manage to drive without swerving. you learn eventually, once you drive yourself drunk a lot you get used to it.

Once I'm home I unlock the door and grab some crackers before I head up. On my way upstairs I ran into Ajax coming downstairs. He looks me up and down and continues to walk down. He doesn't give any fucks I guess.

I come into Dawn and my room, which is miraculously empty. Dawn and I both have our mystery I guess. I set the lighter on Dawn's nightstand. I just give them random shit I steal and they never question it. I make sure to drink some water and eat crackers before I fall asleep in my bunk.

I wonder what Dawn's secret life is. And I pray they never find out mine. My cheating game, that is. My breath smells of vodka but I could care less. I go to bed smelling like the casino and alcohol. No one can know or I'll be in so much trouble.