Terminal

1. Diagnosis

January 1st

Dear Journal,

I don't even know why I am writing or even how I am writing. I was just told that I have stage four pancreatic cancer. It's terminal, and they only gave me five years left on my life with treatment. Without treatment, I possibly am looking at a year or two at best.

What am I to tell my family? What about my students? They depend on my guidance in this world of social and economic chaos. I am supposed to be a light in this world! I did everything I was supposed to do. I loved hard even when there were those who opposed my love, I gave service to my community even when there were those who tried to outcast me.

I pray diligently, and I even donate my time, profits, and knowledge to those less fortunate. How could you end my life so quickly when I feel as if I still have more life to live? I still want to fall in love again, get married, and have children. I pray the Lord is testing me in ways of humble humor because this......this is UNFAIR!!!!