Spider-man and Fubuki/Spider-Blizzard

33. Journal Entry

'There are no words to describe what it's like being in the clutches of Carnage. There are absolutely no words.' Fubuki thinks to herself as she was practically laying on her makeshift hospital bed in the bright room. Looking up at the ceiling.

She was practically writing down what was on her mind in a journal, which was given to her by Carnage, a somewhat nice gesture on his part but nothing about him screams nice in the slightest.

'It is very hard to keep track of time, when you suddenly ask the freak where you are, he replies by saying you are in another world. Perfect, just perfect. It sucks, big time. I don't know how long I've been here for, weeks? Months? Each torture section is like a daily routine honestly.'

'Carnage was simply letting me go through a series of basic torture sections over and over again, there's a lot of them. The first one was actually the worst one I've ever experienced in my entire life. That's definitely going to be part of my soul for a really long time.'

'The next room, a water tank which was replaced with the blood of the victims he's killed over the years, he was practically drowning me over and over, I think we were at number 347 until he stopped, my entire body was just drenched in blood. It sucked. Had to use one of the showers to clean off all the blood, I think he also set up a camera but I couldn't care less, I just wanted to clean up.'

'Next, he placed me in a room that looks like a factory with a bunch of crates, the room was really massive almost like an underground base to be honest, anyway back to where I left off, Carnage insisted that I play a game of die and seek with two other kids that were also mini-Carnages, it was horrifying to be honest, adding on top of that they were singing a calliope which didn't help out the vibe at all. Hiding in the most hidden spots possible, sneaking pass them as they weren't looking but were still able to see me somehow, the Carnage symbiote is basically like a suit of eyeballs or something, it can see in all directions if you try to sneak up on it. Every time I was caught I would either get my bones broken or get a deep cut to anything that's vital if I didn't dodge the attack in time. If I was at full health, I would be fast enough to evade it easily but...it's not the case in this hell hole.'

'I thought about putting on a sob act but I just decided to just let it slide knowing that it wouldn't work in a million years. So scratch that.'

'Next up, another room, only this one was white and as bright as daytime, only at the center of the room were organs, human organs. Carnage basically said that I can leave if I…eat all of it. Let me tell you, my stomach felt like it was going to reject what was going into me but somehow I was able to pull it off, kinda wish I had a dipping sauce so it wouldn't taste as bad, so I'm pretty much a cannibal, that was a terrible joke. Carnage led me to a bathroom right after, I was throwing up a lot in the toilet, God I didn't think that I could scream so loud when I vomit, my neighbors definitely would not love that noise back home. Once I was done, I looked at the bathroom mirror which was broken as I saw my reflection. If it was an omen, I'm sure that I was going to lose it in this place, there is only so much a human being can take, sometimes I always think to myself, have I already reached the level of insanity ever since I killed James? I'm not sure if what's real or not real anymore honestly.'

'Another room, I was just in the dark hearing nothing but horrible roars and screeches like a demon crawling out of hell, most of the screams sounded like children and adults in pure agony and lost in the depths of insanity. Definitely going to have sleep paralysis from now on.'

'Then went back to basic torture. Wounds being inflicted on my body, showing small scars in the process. Even the little kids wanted to let in on the fun. Most if not all of these kids were really twisted to the point of no return, some even believed that they were Cletus Kasady, it was disturbing and it was almost like they had a personality disorder. The Carnage symbiote is known to infect the mind to anyone who wears it. The mass that Carnage has on his entire body got me thinking that is there ever a point when it stops producing out of his body but soon enough the symbiote is connected to his bloodstream after all.'

'Spider-man has had to deal with his version of Carnage for the next 6 years when he was 15. Yet he maintained sane in the end. Is that what this other Carnage intends to do to me as well? If he is, I should just continue to make shitty jokes, and hope for the best. I'm sure that the others are doing everything in their power to look for me, whether or not they know that I'm in a different world all because Carnage uses that dimensional transporter.'

'For a serial killer, the more I'm around Carnage the more I know about his mindset, well somewhat, he is known to act childish, like a little kid that doesn't get what he wants, but sometimes he can be very cunning when he needs to be.'

'Everything about this sucks. I just want to see Michael again. Truth is, that's all I want in life. I think I finally understand what he goes through every night when he sleeps, what he had to go through facing this monstrosity. There is nothing human in Carnage's soul since the day he was born.'

'There was other torture section which this motherfucker made me of all people, an elegant classy lady listen to techno music for 12 hours straight everyday. 12 hours straight!!! I could've gone insane from that alone to be honest and that fucker was practically enjoying it, watching it on the monitors. If someone finds this journal, search up Road Trip - Beer Pong torture scene and you'll know what I'm about.'

'Sometimes I always think to myself, if I had just told Michael the truth from the very start maybe things wouldn't be so bad as they are now but I can't. I'm just an average woman going through hell with who knows how long I'm going to be stuck here for.'

'Soon enough I can tell that he will no doubt show me visions of my group dying 9 million ways, since he knows 9 million ways to kill a body. It will be my personal hell, no doubt. I would rather much watch all seasons of South Park to be honest.'

'If Carnage didn't show up in the first place, our lives would've perfect, mine and Michael's unborn child would be here with us, if it was a girl I would've wanted to hold our little May in my arms with Michael by my side in the hospital bed, it's almost funny really, our little Spider-Esper crawling on the walls, flying in the penthouse like a fairy, May resembling me, having my Bob-cut and Michael's eyes.'

Fubuki smiled at the paragraph she had written down as tears rolled down her cheeks, 'Sometimes, I always think that Lily and Tatsumaki would definitely love to be babysitters taking care of May for us. They would definitely need Saitama and Genos's help for that.'

'But as long as I keep trying to move forward, never let instantly and the darkness take over my soul, I can power on through in the end, it's a leap of faith that I must take to remain strong-willed in the end, don't let the trauma and nightmares take over. I have to do it for the Blizzard Group, Lily, Tatsumaki, and Michael. This is Blizzard of Hell (Jigoku no Fubuki) signing off, wish me luck. Your friendly neighbourhood Spider-Blizzard could really use it.'