Deception

Chapter 45 - Wasted

I sit up on my elbows, strung by the hole in my chest at the thought of my past. "And what did you say?"

My thighs move a little before he holds them still in his hands, meeting my gaze with a spark of possessiveness. "I said no." He says surely. "I don't like people who treat you like shit." He pauses, eyes softening when seeing my face. "Unless you want it?"

I don't know what I want. I should keep in contact with my family, but seeing my Papa again would bring back bad memories. Memories of a life so bland I resent him now for restricting me to it.

Before I even consider it properly, the words slip from my mouth. "I'll meet him." I say, and the booming beneath my skin makes me run my hands over his.

Seeing how quickly I'm distracted by him, he studies me dryly before dragging me by the legs towards him.

"Bad choice."

"My father isn't that bad. He's not worse than yours, speaking of... I bet he's waiting with a belt outside the door."

I was only joking, and didn't expect the sudden bolt of darkness in his eyes at the mention of a belt.

Seriousness casts a shadow on his face, and I swallow in regret. I should have kept my mouth closed about that.

"He's out of the house." His jaw is so tight, his words come out rugged.

Wait...

Out of the house?

I feel my entire face fall flat. "You kicked your father out?"

He keeps his eyes on mine from above, but doesn't reply. Of course he doesn't. When he does bad he lets the world know.

When he does good, he hides it from everyone.

Laying on my back, his face his right above my legs so it isn't hard to reach up and run my finger across the the side of his face.

His jaw slowly unclenches. Eyes grow deep and hazy as if me touching him was something he'd never seen.

A small smile forms on my face and I realise something. I like it when he keeps his goodness for only me to see.

I like knowing him in a way nobody else has. Its like a false rumour you let everyone believe. Like the crippled wings people think are too broken to spread, but they do, and they make you fly.

I want this side of him to only be mine, I want the soft cheek strokes, the unexpected laughs when I amuse him...the words he whispers to me when he thinks I'm sleeping, I want it all only for myself.

My wedding ring twinkles against the daylight. I let my finger fall, and at the thought of my ring I wonder if he'll remarry once I'm gone, or if he'll return to his old ways of having a revolving door of women. Either choice terrifies me.

Silas's eyes lower to my lips, and he dips between my legs to bend low to my mouth. Just when his lips almost touch mine, his phone rings and the both of us freeze.

The sound of his ringtone is getting infuriating.

He picks his phone from beside him and answers it. "You better have a fucking reason to call me on my day off."