The Why Behind What We Feel

Chapter 31- Main Characters

"So let me get this straight...he's in jail, for God knows what, and you are...just waiting for him to get out?" Lizzy asks in confusion after I've just explained to her what's going on with Tyler.

I nod slowly, giving her a look. "Why wouldn't I wait for him?"

"Because he's a criminal, Sessy! He murdered his parents, stole money, and now he's in jail, where he belongs, might I add."

"I knew you would be this way if I told you," I sigh in frustration.

"Of course I am! I'm your best friend! I love you and I don't want anything bad to happen to you, ever! This boy is bad news and you're too in love to see it."

"He's trying to get his life back on track and he's doing a good job!" I defend him.

"Oh? Is that why he's in jail?!"

I can only stare at her in disbelief. Why can't she see things from my perspective? I love him. He's not just some guy of many. He's the only guy I've ever been with, the only one I've ever had any kind of serious feelings for.

She sighs in defeat, deflating into the sofa like she's so done with me. "For years you've given me your honest opinion about every guy I've ever dated. And every time, you were right. Some of those times, I didn't listen to you and I ended up getting my heart broken. I don't want that to happen to you. You are the sweetest, most genuine person I know. You deserve better than this and you know it."

"Listen, I don't expect you to understand. You don't know him like I do. You don't get to see who he really is, on the inside. To know what he's been through and to see how far he's come...I know it sounds crazy. But I love him. And I won't give up on him."

She stares straight ahead for a while as if she's deep in thought. Finally, she lets out a dramatic sigh. "You sound a lot like me right now, Sessy. It's weird. I'm the one that falls in love with bad boys and you're the one that's supposed to talk me out of it. Now, here we are, our roles are reversed. I know you love him and I know you think he's changed. Maybe you're right. I don't know him like you do. But he's in jail right now and he hasn't even told you why. You aren't at least worried?"

"Hell yeah I'm worried," I say as if that should be completely obvious. "I don't know why he's in jail, but I know he's going to tell me. He's been honest about everything else."

"Yeah, once you found out some other way. Like the money, for example. He didn't tell you where it came from until you found it. What if you didn't snoop through his bag? Do you still think he would've told you?"

I shrug, suddenly starting to doubt everything. No one else knows the things I've told Lizzy tonight, so no one else could tell me I'm putting myself into a dangerous situation. No one else could tell me I'm an idiot for trusting him.

I take a second to think about this from an outside perspective. If Lizzy were the one telling me all this about a guy she was in love with, what would I tell her?

She's crazy. Bat shit crazy. That's what I'd tell her.

"Love is blind, so it keeps us from seeing things as they really are sometimes," she says, moving closer to me and wrapping her arm around my shoulder. "Tyler may love you and he may really want to change. That doesn't change the fact that he's got a lot to deal with before he truly can. I just don't want to see him bring you down in the process."

"Yeah..."

"This sofa is super comfy," she says, brushing her hand across the smooth, black leather.

"It is," I chuckle. "Grandma just had it delivered earlier today. The one we had before was kind of a nightmare, and since this is where I'll be sleeping, I didn't-"