The Why Behind What We Feel

Chapter 4- Good Looking

Aspen and Drake never showed up last night, which is fine since Lizzy passed out almost immediately after we made it back home. I would've only felt a ton of pressure to entertain guests when all I really wanted to do was fall in the bed face first and sleep until Monday morning.

I have a lot of studying to do this weekend in order to prepare for finals, so I get a shower, arrange my study snacks and get to work. I plan to ace these last few exams and end my undergraduate career with a 4.3 GPA. I've crunched the numbers and it's possible. All I've got to do is score at least a ninety or better on my exams. I haven't made anything less than an A in any of my classes, but I hope I'm not setting the bar too high for myself. I loathe feeling disappointed, about anything.

I plug my earbuds in, turn on some mellow lofi and get to work.

I always lose track of time when I'm in the zone, focusing all my energy and attention on the task at hand; which means, sometimes, I'm a little too into it. So when I hear a pounding on my bedroom door, I immediately go into panic mode and my mind starts going through a list of all the worst case scenarios I've ever thought of in my entire life- intruders, a fire, a zombie apocalypse- the possibilities are endless, really.

I open the door and sigh in relief when I see a perfectly normal looking Lizzy. "Why are you banging on the door like you're the cops?!" I hiss at her.

"Sorry, I just assumed you couldn't hear me over your music," she replies, biting her lip like she does when she's nervous or excited. Which means something must be wrong.

"What is it? Are you okay?" I ask her.

"Yes, of course. But there's someone here to see you," she says, nodding to the front door.

I look in that direction and my eyes widen in surprise when I see Aspen standing there. For a few seconds, I'm frozen in place, not sure what to do. I probably look awful and I just had some Doritos. Maybe I should just have Lizzy tell him to come back when I'm more mentally prepared to face him.

But then his eyes meet mine and he smiles. "Hey Sicily!"

I smile back nervously, forcing myself to move in his direction. "Hi Aspen! What's up?"

"Nothing much, I was just wondering if you had any free time today or tomorrow," he says.

I stop in front of him, waiting for him to go on, but he doesn't. "Free time...to study?" I ask.

"Yeah," he shrugs sheepishly. "We can study."

We can study? Is that what he came here for or not?

"Did you need something else?" I ask, just to make sure.

"No, I don't need anything, I just wanted to see..." he trails off and looks past me.

I turn around and see Lizzy leaned up against the wall, hanging on our every word. I give her a look and she smirks before turning and walking away, disappearing into her room.

After she's gone, I look back at Aspen and smile. "I'm sorry, what were you saying?"

He clears his throat, rubbing the stubble on his chin as if he's nervous. That's when I notice his hand is pretty shaky. "Um, I was saying that we can study together, I mean, if that's what you want to do."

"Well, you came over here, so did you come to ask me to study?" I ask.

He hesitates, but finally sighs and hangs his head. "No."

"Is everything okay?"

He only shrugs.

"I was just about to take a study break anyway. Want to go get coffee or something?" I ask him, causing his head to snap up in surprise.