Balance, Baby

Chapter 24

He laughed, "I thought you saw me, sorry."

I sat back on the bed, "I didn't."

"Yeah, clearly," He continued laughing.

I looked at him annoyed, "What are you actually doing in here?"

He stopped laughing, but his smile remained, "Right, sorry. The room still had my name on it, so I pretended like I lost my key. They gave me one and I waited for you to come back. I tried to follow you out of the buffet, but I couldn't find you. You weren't answering your phone or texting back. So, I've actually been here for almost 2 hours."

I laid back on the bed, "You just can't leave me alone, huh?" I joked.

"I can't, it's true," I heard the smile in his voice, "I wanted to talk to you when we had the right time or place."

I sighed, remembering what I said earlier. My feet were still throbbing, I sat up and started rubbing my feet again, "Okay, let's talk then."

Judah stood up and sat on the other edge of the bed, "Gimme," He put his hand out towards my feet.

"It's fine, I got it. Plus, I was walking around barefoot, they're dirty," I explained to him as I looked up.

He rolled his eyes and grabbed my foot, pulling it towards him, "Like I give a shit."

I smiled softly, looking away from him. He massaged softly, gradually applying more pressure. I couldn't help but verbalize how great it felt, "Thank you."

He cleared his throat, looking away from me, "So, draw the line for me. Should I not have said that earlier?"

I thought back, remembering him apologizing for not noticing what was going on. I took a deep breath, trying to mentally prepare myself for the conversation. I looked at his hands as he rubbed my foot, "It wasn't. I just wasn't expecting it. I can't talk about that stuff with you if I'm not prepared for it."

"Are you prepared now?" He asked without hesitation.

I nodded, "Yeah, I talked to my parents by the way. Apologized for my outburst."

He laughed softly, "Yeah, that was a hell of a way to tell them. I apologized for you after you ran out, too. Your dad felt like shit."

I laughed too, "Yeah, I was a bit dramatic. But it just felt like I was doing my best to ignore it and everyone kept hounding me."

"You're entitled to your feelings," He said simply. I just looked down at my lap. He continued after the silence settled in, changing the mood, "I'm sorry, Ky. I wish things went down differently."

I nodded, "Me too."

After a pause he added, "I should've treated you better, made time. You were going through the same things I was. You just had a worse point of view, and you had to do it alone."

"None of that was your fault. You were trying to do what you thought was best. Honestly, you had your priorities right. The way I see it, your kid comes first. Just like mine does for me, and that's just the way it is," I shrugged, "It hurts. It sucks. But, we're only human. We don't know what we're doing, how to be parents or even how to be in a relationship. I don't blame you for anything."

"Ky," He paused, his hands stopped moving too, "It would be so much easier if you were pissed off at me or something."

I laughed, "Oh, my bad. Hold on, let me yell at you while you massage my feet."

He smiled and moved my foot, signaling me to give him the other one. I lifted my other foot into his lap and he rubbed that one as he spoke, "I mean, you seemed mad before. I know how to act when you're mad."