Small Town Days [Malec]

Life Tip #7- Make Rational Decisions (Not Good Ones)

Alec retreated back to his corner of the couch, hurt.

Magnus had sucker-punched him with no warning.

"Now I'm confused," Alec said, bitterly. "I thought you--"

Magnus raised an eyebrow.

"Stop looking at me like that!" Alec snapped.

"Like what?" Magnus asked, trying hide the laughter in voice.

"I thought you liked me."

"I do," Magnus said.

"Like, like like."

"Yes, if you want to put it like a first grader, I do like like you," Magnus said.

"Stop laughing at me," Alec said.

Magnus smiled.

"I didn't laugh."

"You want to," Alec said. He looked like a wounded puppy.

"So what are you confused about?"

"Why did you stop me?" Alec asked.

"Was that your first kiss?" Magnus asked.

"That doesn't matter--"

"It does," Magnus said.

He had stolen Alexander Lightwood's first kiss and he wanted to explode with happiness.

"Yes--"

"Then I'm sorry I stopped you," Magnus said, "and I'm sorry it was followed by this awkward conversation but you need to think about what others will think if they find out."

"I don't care."

"You might not care tonight but you'll care tomorrow morning. Or maybe next week. Or maybe in a couple years, who knows, but you will care," Magnus said. "'Regrets are inevitable.' Sure, but I don't want to be a regret for you."

"So what?" Alec asked. "I sit here every weekend and act like I don't have feelings for you while you stare at me?"

"No," Magnus said. "And I don't stare--"

"You do."

"You-- No," Magnus said. "I want you to go to sleep-- in your own room-- and think about it. For a long time."

Alec stood up.

"To be completely honest with you," Alec said, "I didn't think you'd be the one to stop."

Magnus let out a single laugh then bit his lower lip, cursing himself.

"Yeah, I know," Magnus said, looking up at the blue-eyed boy.

"Okay, good night," Alec said.

"Good night," Magnus said.

Last week, he had watched Alec's retreat.

Tonight, he stared at the empty end of the couch.

No regrets, right?

.........

They didn't text all week.

Magnus didn't push it. He didn't try to make eye contact with Alec. He didn't loiter in front of Alec's locker.

He just gave up.

Until Friday.

7:47 pm- Alec: No set this week.

7:51 pm- Magnus: Can we talk?

7:52 pm- Alec: I'll meet you in the school parking lot @ 6. There's a baseball game going on so we should be safe

7:53 pm- Magnus: Alright

Saturday was the longest day of Magnus' life, waiting for six to come around.

He did have to give Alec some credit: he knew how to make a guy desperate.

Waiting in the parking lot was almost worse. But Alec showed up and Magnus got inside his car before anyone could see them.

It was silent; no radio, no conversation.

Magnus didn't know if he should-- or could-- speak.

He wanted to ask Alec a thousand questions.

"So I thought," Alec said finally. His eyes avoided Magnus.

"Okay," Magnus said, bracing himself for the fallout.

That would make him and Alec nuclear. Radioactive. Dangerous.

"Maybe you're right," Alec said. "Maybe I don't know what I'm getting myself into."

This was the part where Alec added something else, changing everything. He was supposed to confess his undying love here.

But he didn't say anything. He didn't even look at Magnus.

Because this wasn't a movie. This was reality.

Magnus bit the inside of his cheek until it was bleeding and he could taste the metal mixing with his spearmint gum.

"So what changed your mind?" Magnus asked. "Because you were all over me a week ago."

Why not be honest?

"I was scared!" Alec shouted. "I'm not reckless and I actually hate lying to my parents! And adding you to the mix would not help at all!"

Magnus couldn't come back to that.

Alec shook his head, flustered.

The game was letting out and people were entering the parking lot, walking slowly.

"Magnus--"

"Alexander, I swear--"

"Don't yell at me," Alec snapped, looking at Magnus for the first time. There was a reason why he had been avoiding his eyes. Alec was speechless.

Magnus stopped looking at Alec.

"I should go," Magnus said. He opened the door and climbed out, making sure to slam it as he went.

He stalked towards his own car when he heard Alec calling to him.

"Magnus--!"

"We're done," Magnus said, turning around. Screw the town. Screw what they thought. Screw their gossip. "That's what you want, right?"

"You're the one who stopped me--" Alec was only a foot from him now.

"So you could think about it," Magnus said. "It was me being thinking about--"

"Who? Yourself?"

"You!"

Alec shook his head as if it were all a joke.

So they just stood in the middle of the parking lot, avoiding each other's eyes, like they had been all night, not speaking, like they had been all night.

"I hate this," Alec said. "But I'm just trying to not screw everything up."

"You know, regrets are inevitable," Magnus said.

"You can't quote me at me," Alec said. He was actually furious.

"I wasn't talking to you," Magnus said, closing the space between them.

Then, because Magnus was on the edge of a nuclear meltdown, he kissed Alec, quickly but firmly and more than enough to make his point.

"That was me avoiding regrets."

Then he left.