The Courage of Stars

season 2 | chapter 20 (iv)

It brought to the spotlight his old days of bliss, where a hug from a loved one wasn't so out of reach.

He shouldn't have been ungrateful. The world was cold, cruel. Not all relatives expressed willingness to take a child of their family under their own wing. Their pretentious care was merely a facade for their indifference, destined to conceal the avoidance of the responsibilities that ensued.

He truly did give it to them. Mirabella and Keith helped him to adjust to the brutal change of both mental and physical surroundings. They were there for him when no one else was. They tried to show him there was life and happiness beyond the separation - that violent tug of detachment from the heart.

Kai's smile held a profound melancholy.

He missed him. He used to anticipate the car rides with Keith as the sun set behind them. With the windows rolled down, the chilly breeze freshened the vivid redness of his cheeks after his training. There was a new sense of liberation as he opened the door of the car, slid into the leather seat and let Keith take him to places.

His uncle would lean forth to turn the radio on. The sound of Red Hot Chilli Peppers, The Rolling Stones and Arctic Monkeys set his soul on fire as Keith would drive to the city, then turn and head to the road by the coast. There was something gratifying and intoxicating with a flavor of spice he couldn't pinpoint with precision in the mixture of soft rock music and the constant change of scenery.

He used to admire the light in Keith's eyes. Everytime he saw it, he could see his father smiling at him. It was so sweet, so warm. He ached for it, craved for it, but the longer he desired it, the greater the pain was.

It broke him to pieces that Keith's downhill was partly his fault.

The resemblance to his father was striking. He knew how every time Keith looked at him all he saw was the brother -pieces of his own blood-buried to the ground. He imagined his uncle staring down at his best friend who was no longer a person, but a lifeless body bound to be swallowed by the soul of the world.

Albeit the distance and detachment scaled between them throughout the year as the aftermath of their tensive arguments, Kai could pierce through Keith's façade and accept the core of his disapproval to everything magic-related he chose. It was his false way of showing him the dark side of the powers within that begged to break their chains in the form of magic. It was Keith's burning desire to prevent him from entering the paths of the magic dimension, a ticket to a road of no return.

His uncle strived everything in his power to prove him when he was still a child that magic could lead him to the same fatal finale his parents had. When he came to terms with the reality that Kai was his own person and no one could impose their mindset on him, he'd grown aversive towards him, characterizing him foolish to believe he could bring any difference to this twisted world of wonders.

Kai faced another truth. At the end of the day, it was him who didn't help his uncle understand him better either. Keith's belittling stance at his ambitions in the magic field only served to largen the emotional gap between them. His dismissive gestures accompanied by a mildly repulsed expression whenever Kai brought up the specific topic cut the cord of hope altogether. He would never gain his uncle's approval, much less the support he'd craved from the fatherly figure he used to look up to with nothing less except for the greatest of fondness.

Mirabella was the last, dim glow of hope. She had taken the lead from his mother and ensured both herself and Kai that she'd continue raising him to the man he deserved to develop into; sharp-minded, hard-working, ruthless when demanded, yet kind with a softness only a few selected would prove themselves worthy to see.

He owed her more than the entire world. She'd put everything on the line, including her marriage and relationship with Keith to protect him from the man Keith had become, yet continued pushing him to the direction his heart desired and express freely who he was.