Shadow Butcher (LokixAvengersxOC)

Camp Lehigh

"It's some kind of recording and I didn't know you were that old," Natasha states but I know it well enough that this wasn't.

"I am not a recording, Fräulein." The A.I. of the Swiss scientist is peeved. "I may not be the man I was when the Captain took me, prisoner, in 1945, but I am."

The computer screen shows an old photo of Dr. Arnim Zola. Steve recognizes it and narrows his eyes, not understanding a thing about what is happening. My breath starts to flatten and my ears start ringing, I ignore Loki's attempt on checking up on me as my whole focus goes on that thing.

"Do you know this thing?", Natasha asks me and Steve but I can't say a word, though my body language spills the truth.

"Arnim Zola was a German scientist who worked for the Red Skull. He's been dead for years.", Steve replies and eyes me suspiciously.

"First correction, I am Swiss. Second, look around you. I have never been more alive. In 1972 I received a terminal diagnosis. Science could not save my body, or my mind, however, that was worth saving on two hundred thousand feet of data banks. With the help of the Goddess, I've rebuilt the empire. You are standing in my brain."

"How did you get here?", Steve asks concerned.

"Invited."

"It was Operation Paperclip after World War II. SHIELD recruited German scientists with strategic value," Natasha explains to us even though she somehow knows that I know more than she does.

"They thought I could help their cause. I also helped my own."

"HYDRA died with the Red Skull," Steve tries to assure us all, even himself but I knew he was absolutely wrong. A shiver runs down my spine as Johann Schmidt's alias gets mentioned.

"Cut off one head, two more shall take its place." The computerized voice of Dr. Arnim Zola speaks up and it echoes through my mind. I curl my hands into fists, trying to get rid of any memories. The memory of when I was captured by HYDRA.

"Prove it," Rogers muttered to the screen.

"Accessing archive." The A.I. shows old footage of Johann Schmidt aka Red Skull and the original S.H.I.E.L.D. founders. "HYDRA was founded on the belief that humanity could not be trusted with its freedom. What we did not realize, was that if you try to take that freedom, they resist. The war taught us much. Humanity needed to surrender its freedom willingly. After the war, SHIELD was founded and I was recruited. The new HYDRA grew with the very help of a certain Goddess that disguises herself as a human. Without her, the Red Skull wouldn't be alive. A beautiful parasite inside S.H.I.E.L.D. For seventy years HYDRA has been secretly feeding crisis, reaping war. And when history did not cooperate, history was changed. Or am I wrong, Goddess of Death?"

"Goddess?", Steve asks directly to me, almost in a demanding tone but I couldn't answer.

As if I was stuck in a trance just like in those days. My mind goes through every single assassination I have done. All the pain I caused, the blood on my hands. In my whole life, I had managed to stay hidden, until HYDRA. Even after I fled from the organization, I remained a ghost. And just like the other day with HYDRA, I am losing this battle of hiding my true identity.

"That's impossible, SHIELD would have stopped you," Natasha says concerned about the living computer.

"He's not lying," Loki speaks up and Natasha raises her eyebrow and nods towards him to go on. "Listen, I know you cannot trust me from the fact of what I have done. But when I entered those agents' minds, I felt betrayal. Not towards me but something else."

Dr. Arnim Zola laughs wickedly and shows footage that shouldn't have existed.

"H-How? I made sure to destroy that!", I screamed with a shaky voice as I stumble on my already weak knees.

I back up again when a broken video that has been put back together gets played. For a swift moment I saw my cell partner, he's the Winter Soldier. I gulp the guilt down my throat as my heart stammers.

"Accidents will happen."

Dr. Zola shows how Tony Starks' parents have been killed, making it look like a car accident. It's clear to see the Winter Soldier shooting at them and me who shot at the camera for no evidence. All my footprints are marked on that mess. It even shows then the recent death of how Fury died but this time my partner committed a crime without me. And that is because I left him alone.

"HYDRA created a world so chaotic that humanity is finally ready to sacrifice its freedom to gain its security. With the Goddess in our hands, we have come a step closer. Once the purification process is complete, HYDRA's new world order will arise. We won, Captain. Your death amounts to the same as your Life; a zero-sum." Loki tries to shake me back to normal but I stand there paralyzed. He shows a kind of sorrow but soon it changes into pure wrath. He turns around, his body buzzing with magic and he crushes the screen with his telekinesis. "As I was saying... God of Mischief..."

"What's on this drive?" Steve asks angrily after the scientist reappears on another screen.

"Project Insight requires insight. So I wrote an algorithm with a little help."

"What kind of algorithm? What does it do?" Natasha interjects, her arms faltering across her chest.

"The answer to your question is fascinating. Unfortunately, you shall be too dead to hear it." The doors fall to a close, Steve throws his shield between in but he's too late. "Maybe if you beg for mercy, Shadow, she will revive you all."

"We got a bogey. Short-range ballistic. 60 seconds tops." Natasha bids in. Steve asks who fired it. "S.H.I.E.L.D."

"I am afraid I have been stalling, Captain. Admit it, it's better this way. We're both of us...out of time."

With that as his last words, the computer shuts down. After all these years of torture at HYDRA... I thought I will leave the worst part of myself behind but Dr. Zola found a way to even break me in my future.

I watch Loki and Steve yelling at me but all I can do is to hyperventilate. My breath accelerated but I can't get enough air in my lungs. I can't hear them and I can't function, my system that I call my body is getting vulnerable.

"Get inside!", Steve commands, and Loki jumps, taking me with him as we land in a small opening on the ground. With his shield, Steve protects us with a little help from Loki casting a spell. The missile hits our location, straight away.

All of it, HYDRA being still present, Zola showing me that they knew all along about my true self, the bomb, and me with restrained powers. It was all too much and I collapsed in Loki's arms.

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Author's Note:

This is one of my favorite chapters. It finally shows some vulnerability of Shadow and her past. Though not all secrets are spilled yet you will get to know her a bit more in the future.

I hope you enjoyed this longer chapter!