Little Love - B1

Chapter 25

Xander

'you ready for today' Skylar asks as we sit at the kitchen table having breakfast

'not really but it has to be done' i answer honestly 'i have you' she reaches out and takes my hand 'if it gets to much we can just walk away, ok' she smiles small while i bring her hand to my lips 'thankyou baby'.

Soon we meet Marcelle at the hotel, it feels like i haven't saw him in ages
probably a relief for him to not have my asshole attitude around...

'hey Skylar' he greets her with a hug
then turns to me 'they are up in room sixty five' handing me the keycard, but i see it 'words' he bites his lip a little 'did you know they were... together' i frown at this 'Casey and Xavier' his eyebrows raise as he blows out, 'the guys heard'
'ok, lets not pry in peoples lives' Skylar says and i agree, but still i never knew my brother was into men at all 'come' i snap out of it and take Skylar's hand 'you'll be ok' she whispers as i press the elevator door 'with you by my side i always will be' i lean down and kiss her before the doors open, anxiety has never even creeped to me and i know it's because Skylar is here.

'Xander' Xavier stands mid dressed 'it is time we talked' he looks at Skylar then back to me 'of course, uh' he turns his head 'let him finish his shower' i say simply, knowing he was nervous about Casey 'uh, yeah' he clears his throat 'i'll be right there' he goes to the room while me and Skylar sit in the small living area 'you're paying for this' she asks looking around 'yeah' i hug her to the side of me 'i am glad to see it is worth it though' true, the room is breath taking with a modern look of oak, small kitchen and living area i could see me and Skylar even taking a few days here just to be us without my men being around.
'So' Xavier brakes the air, i straighten moving my arm from Skylar to take her hand 'i want to know what Casey meant' he nods before shifting 'it was not what it seemed Xander.. me and Crystal' i flinch hearing her name from his mouth 'we were.. inlove' i frown 'what' i snap Skylar squeezes my hand a little
'i dont know how it happened, it just did' he holds my eyes hostage, showing an emotion of pain 'when we started highschool, it was when my feelings set in more' there is a year between him and Crystal 'feelings' i scowl the words but he only nods smiling small 'breath taking, our Crystal and all the guys saw it to' he draws away from my eyes 'i couldn't take it, i couldn't sit and watch how they looked at herhow my friends talked of dating her' his voice cracks 'i know it was wrong, i know it was a sin to even look at your own sibling that way' i see a tear leave his eye but my stomach is churning
'i didn't want to tell her, i didn't want her to know anything i thought it was a faze of some sort but i noticed, you only loved her as a sister yes you were young but even at that age i felt it' my stomach flips 'i couldn't' i cringe 'i was older and the jealousy just ate at me'
'but i heard her tell mom' his eyes snap to me 'you heard them arguing, it was mother that said it was..' he stops with sheer sadness in his features 'you only think she was meaning me because of... what you heard at night, you were a kid Xander' i flinch again, disgusted
'don't remind me!' i growl 'you are both siblings' i shake my head 'it not rare Xander, it does happen' i scowl more my hand leaving Skylar's 'tell me then, why did she do that to her self' the silence rules us as tears drip from his eyes.. he lets out a shaky breath 'mom and dad made her get an abortion' and my eyes widen 'what' he nods 'we were so fucking happy' he sits back running his hands over his face, i want to jump out of this seat and call him a god damn liar but the one piece he said was true, i was only a kid 'she was scared about telling our parents' he says and this makes me frown 'well of course Xavier what yous did was disgusting' his eye snap to me hard and eerie 'that does not mean we couldn't love eachother' now this makes me stand my hand runs through my hair 'not like that, fuck' i snap 'i love Crystal but never like that' anger runs through his face as he bolts up 'no because it was me' he all but yell's 'it was fucking me i love her i wanted to give her the god damn planet i knew it was a bad idea to tell mom and dad, fuck. i wanted us to just run away' he turns silent for a couple of moments 'but you' it is a crack 'me' he turns back to me, tears shedding down his cheeks 'she wanted you to be part of the babys life she didnt want to leave you with them and wonder why we both left' he sighs 'our parents are assholes they forced Crystal to get an adortion. when she....' he looks down exhaling through tears 'they said she was suffering from depression, they paid to keep it from the papers no one really knew what happened i was forced to keep it secret and you, well you were only a kid' all of his words are like bolts of electricity all of them stabbing my heart for Crystal, for her baby and a small part for the life she wanted. yes he is her brother and it is wrong but that does not mean i would ever want my sister to stop breathing because of saddness 'i-uh' my throat closes, they were inlove... were they halming the world? no, where they harming me and my future? no. but my parents would have saw it as a sin even if it is not normal, it is not exactly something that is bringing shame on anyone, fuck. i dont even know anymore
'Xander' i look back at Xavier with my muddled thoughts 'i hate to say this, but forget it. i am so sorry it was you who had to find her, it broke me seeing you like that and mom told me to keep my distance incase i broke down infront of you' if you could see a chest crack and crumble i would of, his words so pained 'i had to move on without the both of them, but they are here' he goes in his back pocket and hands me three photos, one being the three of us, me Xavier and Crystal. the next being an old scan, with the name Crystal Black at the top, my fingers run over the small fetus 'i'm sorry' i whisper 'the last one' Xavier says, in which i turn and a gasp leaves me 'how, when'
'mother couldn't get rid of all of her' he scowls 'i thought we lost this picture' i hold it to my chest it is a portrait of Crystal, she got it done for a shoot my mother made her do the reason why i love it so much is because of how clear it is, so raditant in its colours it shows all her beauty, she sits in a chair looking a slight up wards her ash blonde ringlits bouncing around her, never any make up all natrual like - 'S-Sky' i turn mid thought seeing my beauty standing near me 'this is Crystal' the small gasp 'wow, she's stunning Xander' her baby blues bold, i smile sadly 'she really is' Xavier replies as my eyes look at him, all theses years i hated him
i pushed him out
'can i have some time to..'
'of course brother, as much as you need'
Casey comes on his side taking his hand
'i want to apologise also' he looks at Skylar 'i should not have taking you, i just' he looks at Xavier 'i just wanted him back' i see Skylar smile a little 'i know it seemed like shady buisness but it wasn't, he just wanted to see you Xander' i inhale 'and from now on no more between any of us, we don't need to be in eachothers way' Xavier says and i nod but really my mind goes back to my thoughts everyday 'thankyou both' Skylar says her arm coming around me 'why did you be..' i eye him 'i couldn't move on from Crystal she is and will forever be the first and last woman i touch'
i mean he didn't have to word it but it is weirdly sweet so i nod 'Marcelle will take yous both back' i hand him the photos back 'i want this one blow up, as a real sorry present i want to hang her in our home' Xavier smiles at this and i take Skylar's hand not really sure how i feel.