Little Love - B1

Chapter 22

Skylar

groggy, it is all i feel. but it is nothing new, yet it also is in another way
'how do you feeling' Xander asks as we sit at the kitchen table, when i came back we were sat on the floor with mcdonald's and colouring things around us, really i feel like i ruined a moment but he has not said anything, if anything he feels... distant
'just groggy, after some much needed sleep and gym i'll feel better' i sip my tea, all the milk and fatty foods taking their toll on my tierdness, not to mention the energy that side has
'hm, well i have work' he wipes his mouth before standing 'will you be back for dinner' he stops 'uh, i have plans to go through at work..'
i look down 'okay' i inhale 'i am going to see April anyways' i look back to his eyes seeing a scowl 'what'
'nothing' he looks down before walking away
'fuck' i sigh, have you ever felt unwanted...

Xander

'so she came back' i nod to Marcelle, 'well, thats good.. is it not' i scowl but continue to read the file, well not exactly reading 'Xander'.. still i say nothing, he sighs 'you have not bonded with that side' this makes my silence crack 'no because she has been away from months Marcelle' he scowls 'it is not her fault' he points out on beat 'do you have any idea how it feels to look at the person you love' my voice cracks 'but' i bite my lip, frustrated i drop the pen and my hands go to my hair 'it is not her' i say it small 'it is not her Marcelle, she looks like her but, she just isn't' a tear leaves my eye but i am to broken and lost in it to give a fuck, it hurts. it truly hurts
'no, i do not know Xander but she is not gone forever' he leans forward
'but she is not with me all of the time' i whisper 'i only just made a mends with her, our moment there ready to be us again but' i breathe 'she was ripped away from me in a split second, she was just gone'
'you have to bond with Skylar, Xander it is the only way you will get to feel peace at the fact you will get her back', i stay quiet because really, i dont know if that is true.

Skylar

after Xander left, i tried to call April but it said her phone was off, maybe al go to pixie's when i am not feeling so drained, after that i went upstairs to get ready the clothes he got me were still there but, i found alot of... little things. things he seemed to take attentive care of, clothes, hair ties bows and princess dresses with ballet pumps to match them all of it just made me sad, if anything because i knew it and it is evident he bonded with my other side over the time and it appears to be in more ways than one, he couldn't even look at me probably this morning
'fuck' i exhale shakily, i want to just want walk away, be done with it but how can i hurt him like that, it is not his fault and i like him, hes sweet, caring and he even took on my other side unlike my own family, maybe i should try... i mean i know i am not who he has bonded with but i could try..

'hm' i hum while standing, maybe a date..? or.. maybe a vacation... 'oh i dont know' i groan my face pained, i have no id - 'Skylar' i am cut short by Xander returning, gasping i look down as i stand in my towel 'uh, al be right down' i grab a pair of jeans and checked shirt, hoying them on, i let my hair down before grabbing the vans and slipping them on my feet straighten 'breathe Sky' i exhale ruffling my hair, 'lets... just bond' ... 'yeah, he can be with us... both' i face palm my self 'wow Sky you suck at this' i whisper.

Xander

setting the bags on the kitchen island, i start putting the stuff away 'didnt you have maids for that' Skylar's voice makes me turn 'uh, yeah but' i stop, fuck she is beautiful..
i clear my throat 'i wanted to speak to you about some.. things that happened' she frowns 'i'll make us coffee then' she says curious before going to it 'okay' i turn back but my eyes close, i still have to see Xavier, he is currently in a hotel really i think i just put it of to face him but i have been occupied with Skylar to, maybe i just don't want answers.... Crystal should be here living her life but because of, well.. oh i dont know, i sigh heavy and open my eyes, i finish the unpacking as i prepare to tell Skylar all that happened when she was.. away.

'i was in danger twice' her lips part 'well.. once but the first time you were with someone, i uh' her face still in a state of shock i stop talking, 'fuck Xander' she scowls before looking away 'i know, but...'
'but what you 'sorted it'' she quotes with her fingers 'not exactly' this only makes her scowl more 'so am i even safe with you, and fucking April' this makes her growl but hurt only crosses her features, the statement makes me flinch 'dont say it like that'
'well how else can i' my hands fly to my temples 'you're tougher than you look'
'so that makes it okay' my hands drop 'no Skylar, no it doesnt' i sigh, she looks at me then sighs to 'sorry, i know none of this is your fault. i didn't tell you about that side, it's just' she stops 'just'
'you are the only one.. who cares'
'i do care, alot and not only about your other side i wont lie, i do miss her... really miss her' i smile sadly 'but that does not mean i should have been horrible towards you' i take her hand 'you are safe with me Skylar, and i want us to make this work'
'for that side' she questions while eyeing me 'for both of you, i met you first i fell for you first' she smiles at this 'i want to support you in everything in life, i want to give you all you need to cope with coming in and out of yourself, i dont want you to hate any part of you, i want you to embrace all of it, to see and feel i love you for you' i stroke her fingers, it is hard to say them words to her but i have to, i do love her, she is Skylar, the bond i made with her other side i'll see again and i can't loose her, she's the first person i have ever loved
'i couldn't bare to loose any part of you' i admit some of my thoughts, her hands lifts with mine in it as she stands, coming to me i push my chair out so she can straddle me 'you really mean it don't you' i circle my arms around her waist 'i really mean it' my hands go under her shirt, her soft skin under my touch 'i just want us to be happy' i press my lips to her neck, feathering and touching 'did we uh' she trails of 'no, we didn't have sex, but we' i look out to her seeing her brows frown, i smile and put my hands on her waist before lifting her 'Xan' she laughs as i lay her down across the table
'let me' i run my nose up her cheek 'show you' i come level to her lips 'you two were getting frisky, hmm' she smiles 'i just wanted to make you feel good' i say truthfully my hand comes to her hair to push it from her shoulder
'it was always about you' her smile widens 'thankyou, some men wouldn't' she stops, then shakes her head 'well, know that i am not like them, i respect you far to much to ever take advantage' her fingers play with the outline of my tie 'did, i ever brat you' she asks with a sly smile 'oh yes' i laugh, 'you got punished twice' her fingers stop 'oh' i raise my eyebrow 'h-how' my eyes flicker to her lips, her pants come out 'belted' i answer, 'which i was not comfortable with. but' my eyes go back to hers 'she took it' i raise my eyebrow again 'hm, what else' i see it, her eyes hiding something.. something ticks in me 'well', i move up from her before taking her hand 'wher' i stop us 'don't speak, just... feel' i say 'oh' she frowns as she lifts of the table and i lead us upstairs.