Balance, Baby

Chapter 16

"No you're fine. Sorry to bail. He wasn't even supposed to be home till like 3, I don't even-" I sighed, "I gotta go."

"I'm sorry too, I probably made it worse. I'm slow as hell, I didn't realize," Reese explained.

"You're good. Honestly, it's all on me," I walked up the stairs, "Maybe we can all hang some other time."

I went the rest of the way up the stairs and opened the door. Judah was nowhere to be seen. I set everything on the table and knocked on his door. He didn't say anything. I sighed.

"Can I come in?" I asked, leaning on the door. He still didn't reply. Suddenly the door opened, he was standing in front of me. I couldn't bring myself to look at his face.

"What?" His voice was sharp.

"What are you doing home?" I asked.

"Does it matter?" He replied. I was quiet, he spoke again moments later, "Is that all?"

"No, I wanted to talk to you. It's just, what happened downstairs I need to-"

"No, you don't. Just go. Take all the space you need. Because you clearly need a lot right now," He cut me off snarkily.

"Just let me talk, okay?" My voice raised and I finally looked at him. His jaw was clenched, his arms were crossed and he didn't say a word. I continued, "I'm sorry you heard what you did. It really wasn't anything like that. Trust me."

He rolled his eyes, nodding as he smirked, "Oh yeah, you're right. I believe you, even though you clearly said they were hot and you would sleep with them."

I sighed, "We were talking about you. They said you must be some kind of Greek god or something because they thought I was shutting them down for their looks. I was just explaining that it wasn't the case. I said that I would've slept with them in the past if it wasn't for my rules. Looking back I realize that I could've dealt with that differently. I just, I don't know. We were all being goofy and hyping each other up. I didn't mean to disrespect you in any way shape or form. We were literally talking about you, and I was going to continue on to say that what I have with you isn't about looks! Even though you are hotter than both of them, that's not the point. They were literally asking how you got around the rulebook wondering what made you so special. I was just trying to not be so blunt in telling them about how they could never compare to you. I'm too nice to completely shit on people. It was like such bad timing for you to walk up in that moment, the entire rest of the night was nothing but blunt. There was no other flirting, we were just smoking, drinking and talking. They're actually really cool and both of them know I'm dropping my ways and focusing on you. Isaiah and I were talking about relationships, like how he wants something real with someone and we talked about you and how I have fucking issues. And Reese was asking about you too, literally like a minute before you walked up he asked how you got around the rulebook. Thats how it all went down. I didn't even-"

"It's fine," Judah interrupted me, "You're gonna start talking yourself in circles."

"I'm sorry," I said again.

"It's fine. I just," He sighed, "I didn't understand the situation and I just hope to never hear you compliment another guy again in my life."

"I promise I was just trying to cushion the blow. If you walked up a few seconds later you would've heard me gushing about you. I would never make you look stupid like that, I'm gonna be more careful with my word choice. I'm just not used to having to filter-"

"You're fine. It's fine. I'm not mad that you said those things, I'm more mad that I had to hear it and see it. After what we had, I just," He took a deep breath, "And you said you needed space. I thought maybe you were deciding I wasn't what you wanted. But I understand. It was innocent, you didn't have any intentions. That's all that matters."