42 - Blowing off Some Steam

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She had felt loved, felt cherished, felt protected yesterday in Abhimanyu's arms. And today, she was pushing it all away because she knew Abhimanyu did not do relationships or love. She was drawing a line for them, protecting their feelings, even though the lines had been blurred last night and some, even crossed.

Abhimanyu let go of Akshara with a flicker, putting some distance between them. "Yes, of course. You know, that's my signature. Never having sex with the same girl twice." He forced the words out of his mouth, trying to play it cool.

Akshara nodded her head, smiling at him. "Exactly. And as you know, I was a virgin. So for me to lose my virginity to the most notorious playboy in the city, many girls who would even refer to him as a sexgod, it's like a dream come true." She felt the walls caving in as she lied through her teeth. Yesterday was not just about losing her virginity, it had been so much more than that.

"Exactly. We were both drunk..." No, you weren't. "And we just got carried away." And it was one of the best nights of his life. The best sex of his life too.

For the first time in 10 years, Abhimanyu felt like he was 18 years old again, a naive, innocent boy, going through his first heartbreak. And for some reason, Akshara's words today, hurt him deeper than Zaara's betrayal did, 10 years ago.

"I mean, think about it, we have to be pretend to be married for 1 whole year. And we both know...celibacy for 1 entire year is next to impossible. You have needs, the...expertise...and...I could know the...knowledge...the experience for the future..."

Abhimanyu saw red at even the slightest thought of Akshara with another man, let alone under another man, holding onto him for dear life as the stranger touched her, held her, felt her, all the ways he had.

Mine, a growl sounded fiercely in the back of his head.

"What are you suggesting?"

Akshara felt like she was playing with fire. She was keeping her heart on the line. However, this was the only way she could think of, which would keep her connected to Abhimanyu, let her live in her happily little world, until she convinced herself to get him out of her system. "I mean, I consider us friends. Are we friends?"

"Yes. Yes I think so." Abhimanyu agreed, folding his arms around his chest, trying not to lose his temper at the foolishness Akshara was about to spew.

"Okay. And you don't do relationships...right?" Akshara already knew the answer but there was just that 1% of her hoping that she was wrong, that Abhimanyu would magically say, "No, Akshara! Of course I do relationships!"

"Your point being?" He was really starting to lose his cool. He felt used and that honestly was not a good feeling. At all.

"You are used to having sex. And I could use the experience. No one likes virgins these days. They avoid them like the plague."

Abhimanyu wanted to crush his mouth against Akshara to stop her from thinking her inexperience was a bad thing. Her experience, her innocence was one of the most attractive feature about her. Her virginity was not a burden to him. In fact it had been a gift. Only if he was able to tell her that.

"So...I propose a deal. Friends with benefits. A no strings attached relationship where we both get a chance to fulfill our desires and needs."

Akshara took a few deep breaths to calm herself down, in anticipation for Abhimanyu's response. She was going to take her heart, place it in a vault, lock it up and throw the key away into the deepest part of the ocean so no one could find it. Not even her.

"So fuck buddies?" Abhimanyu's crassness made Akshara flinch. "Thinking about having a friends with benefits no strings attached relationship is easy when even the term fuck buddies makes you flinch, because that's exactly what friends with benefits is in nutshell, that's the hard part." He explained, testing to see Akshara's response.

There was no way his Akshara would be okay with a friends with benefits scenario. At least not the Akshara he knew.

Akshara gulped, "Fuck buddies. That's...what I'm proposing." She reaffirmed, defiantly.

"Do you even know what you are asking for?"

"Yes."

Abhimanyu gazed into her eyes, searching for answers. She really did mean it. She wanted a friends with benefits relationship with him. Only problem was...he didn't.

"I'm getting late for work." Abhimanyu replied, leaving Akshara on seen, as he turned around and stepped into the bathroom, leaving her without an answer.

Akshara bit her lower lip, clutching her chest, gently patting it to calm herself down. This morning had been a rollercoaster of emotions. After the magically night that had been yesterday, today had been equally shitty.

The friends with benefits had been her way of staying close to Abhimanyu, close enough that by the end of one year she would have him out of her system. Done, dusted and forgotten. One year was a long time to get over your feelings, right?

~*~

Abhimanyu stepped into the main hall, in a bad mood. The entire time he had been in the shower, he kept replaying their conversation from earlier and how it had ended up with Akshara asking him to be in a no strings attached relationship.

If it had been any other girl, he might have even remotely considered the possibility of casual fuck buddies. But with Akshara...what if he wanted the strings to be attached. He had no idea what the fuck was wrong with him, but why did he feel like he was the one who had lost his virginity last night, and not Akshara?

"I made you breakfast." Akshara slid the plate of scrambled eggs, pancake and toast towards him with a bottle of maple syrup.

He glanced up at Akshara's hopeful face and frowned. How could she be so normal? How?

"No, it's okay. I'm not hungry right now. I'll grab something at the hospital." Abhimanyu replied, collecting his car keys and leaving his apartment before Akshara had a chance to respond.

As soon as the door closed, Akshara let out a loud constricted sigh she was holding onto and let her tears flow. She felt her heart being ripped to pieces as she realized she may be developing real feelings for her fake husband. She sobbed as she recollected the events of last night. The way Abhimanyu had been so tender, so careful, so soft, so gentle with her. The way he had kissed her, held her.

She was beginning to fall in love with her fake husband. And that was going to be a problem. Because her fake husband did not fall in love, ever.

<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>

Abhi and Akshu are thinking about what the other one wants. Akshu knows Abhi doesn't do relationships and Abhi thinks Akshu's too good for him. So they are playing the cards they are given, protecting their friendship and staying close to each any way they can.

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