Balance, Baby

Chapter 12

I thought about it for a second before saying, "Hugs are fine, just nothing sexual."

"Alright, cool," He said, "So you forfeit the bet right?"

I laughed, "No, I'm not a quitter. Just, put it on pause for now. Please?"

He rolled his eyes, "Fine. So what, I just wait for you to press play again?"

I shrugged, "I guess it can be called off, but I won't tolerate being told I lost. Even by forfeit."

He laughed, "Okay. Whatever you say."

I checked the time, there were about 40 minutes until I had to get ready for work, "I do want to take a nap right now though. I'm heading to bed."

Judah's bottom lip stuck out, as I stood up. He pouted like a baby, "Man, you're leaving me?"

I smiled, "You will be just fine."

I laid on my stomach on my bed, hugging a pillow. I set an alarm and took my nap.

~

I had just gotten off work and I was sitting at the bar talking to Millie, "So, how are you and Cisco?"

"Good, he still hasn't made anything official. Kind of weird. But, we haven't hung out one on one since Saturday so," She shrugged.

"It'll happen," I stated.

"I kind of like how long it's taking, I get to take my time. Except meeting your parents, obviously. But, then again I wasn't introduced as his girlfriend so," She went on, "I guess everything's working out. If anything, meeting them reassures me that he's serious."

"I'm glad you feel that way," I smiled at her.

"So are you finally ready to talk about your bad day?" She raised an eyebrow and leaned onto the bar with her elbows.

I pursed my lips before smiling, "Don't worry about it."

"You and Judah fucked, right?" She asked.

My jaw hung open, "No! Why does everyone think that?"

"Dude, something happened. The sexual tension between you two is thicker than my thighs. I honestly thought you guys had something going on before, but the way you two were acting at your parents house on top of his talk with Jane? There's no fucking way you're about to lie to me right now," She concluded.

I looked at her, 'Shit.' I rolled my eyes before looking away, "You're right. But we never had sex. It's so much more complicated dude. I don't even know how to explain it to you."

"Figure it out, I got time. Don't worry about me reporting back to Jane, she won't talk to me about him. Plus, she has a bunch of other guys she's involved with. It's actually nauseating," She assured me.

I thought for a minute, realizing that it might be cool to have someone to talk to about where I was at mentally. Ultimately, I decided it was a good idea, "I'm going to confide in you, okay? Basically, I got super drunk and seduced the shit out of him. We almost had sex. I didn't even remember because I was so drunk. But, he told me everything the next day. So, it triggered some memories, and I realized that I wanted everything. Like, I realized that those feelings I had that pushed me to act that way was a real thing. Anyway, fast forward to after I've told him all that, and we're both unsure of how to act around each other because I don't want to pursue anything," I sighed, "I mean he said he's had feelings for me for years. He wants a relationship, I've never had one before! I don't even know if I've ever had genuine feelings for anyone before either. Except maybe him. I don't know. I'm trying to figure out how I feel and what I want and how to exist right now."