Who am I living for?

Chapter 1*<3

"Hi I'm Aubrey Sanders. I'm 17, so to all you perverts watching this, go away..... Anyways I'm 17, I'm a junior in Valeria High School, and I'm not really the most popular girl in the school. I mean don't get me wrong, I have tons of friends. Okay I have two, but they are amazing so they count as tons. Their names are Alison Senior, and Amy Santos. We do everything together, but enough about them. I mean, it is my video diary isn't it? So I'm making this video diary because I want my student body to see this diary and well... 'understand me', if you will. You see I have a little secret; I’m going to die in 4-5 months. I have Cancer, now you guys are probably wondering why I'm not bald; well I'm not bald because I wear glue extensions that seem li-."

"Aubrey sweetie it's time for dinner" My mom yelled from the kitchen interrupting my video diary.

"Well that's my cue for dinner so see you all tomorrow at 6." I said, before turning off my computer.

I know it's probably weird for a girl who has cancer to be so well... like me and all, but my family and I both agreed that I should live my life as long as I can. I mean of course when I get a cold it's more than just your typical cold and all, but that doesn't stop me from living my life. Even if I have cancer I am still a normal teenager. I’m just one that has an expiration date. So, I'm starting this new thing where I make a video diary of what I have done the last 4-5 months of my life and then share it with my school so then they could see why I am so weird and care free.

 " What were you doing up there, I heard you talking." My mom said as she was pouring lemonade into an ILNY glass.

 "Nothing just umm talking to Alison..." I lied. God I hate lying to her, but trust me she would kill me if she knew that I was already thinking of my last few months alive.

 "Really because I just got off the phone, and we don't have two lines, and you don't have a cell phone?!" She told me.

 " Skype mom, we were talking on skype I don't understand what the big deal is." I said with a pretty loud voice.

 "Okay okay, just wondering." She said while throwing little chuckles around.

 "Yeah, so where's Joeseph?" I asked trying to change the subject.

 Joeseph is my older brother only by 8 months though, my mom was very.. Umm busy back then. Joeseph (or Joe is what I call him most of the time) is the kind of brother that is very protective but is very annoying, sometimes fun, but also rude, funny, loud, would say he is cute but then I would be lying to you, and I'm not the type of girl who would lie about something like that.

 "I don't know, could you go check if he's in the basement honey?"

 "Sure," I answered while walking to the basement door "JOE TIME FOR DINNER !!!!! " I yelled down the basement.

 "Okay." He yelled back.

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 "So Jaimie told me there was this football game tomorrow, are you guys planning on going?" She asked like she actually interested.

 "Yeah, I'm going with Alison and Amy!" I answered her

 "I'm on the team, so I guess I kind of have to be there." He said with a sarcastic tone.

 "You are," she asked with a blank expression. "Since when??"

 "Since the day you've been ignoring my life!" He shot at her. Oh that must have hurt.

 " Seriously, can you guys please stop, I would like to have my dinner in peace for once!"

 "Whatever, I'm going to Noah's house for dinner anyways." He said while getting up.

 "Of course you are." I mumbled "Well, tell Alison I said hi."

 "You know you can come right? Alison always says 'next time bring Aubrey' It gets annoying after a while."

 "Well I can't just leave mom alone." I said knowing what my mom's response would be.

 "Oh no honey, it's okay I have a lot of work to do before the big meeting anyways, and you need to get out more!" She said.

 "You sure mom, I mean I can go another time." I said hoping she wouldn't change her mind.

 "No honey it's okay go, have fun" She begged.

 "Okay mom I love you, bye." I said while grabbing my sweater.

 "Love you too honey." She called back.

 "Bye mom." Joe yelled while grabbing the keys off the entrance table."

 "Bye sweetie, please take care of your sister." She told him with a worried voice.

 "When don't I ?" I heard him mumble on the way to the car.

 That's one of the reasons why I kind of want to 'die'. My mom loves Joe and I but right now she has her heart set out to keep me 'alive' and she isn't paying any attention to Joe. For example she didn't know Joe was even on the football team but she is dating his coach Jaimie ( or Coach Carter) she just needs to let me go and focus on the things that can make it. But no my mom just keeps holding on to me and she makes Joe do the same, not that he minds taking care of me and being well my brother, in fact he told me that's the only reason he hasn't done anything like drugs or stuff because he wants to be healthy for me, but he does mind that my mom doesn't say anything like be careful to him but instead take care of your sister. I see the pain in his eyes every time my mom finds out something about him that she should have already known, and it kills me to see him feeling unloved when the truth is we all love him specially me and mom , it's just she has trouble showing it at times and I well am his sister and am not aloud to show the 'I love you' side to him. But he knows that we both very much love him.

 "Sorry, about mom she is just having trouble letting go of me." I told my brother as he was driving to Ali and Noah's house.

 "You shouldn't be the one apologizing, and there isn't really much to let go of it's not like your going to actually die." He said.

 That's another problem with my brother he's in denial, he thinks that the doctors are just saying that I'm going to die just to scare me or something, I guess he's having some trouble with letting go as well.

 I had to fake chuckle to make him happy and then let out a little soft " Yeah, I know."

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Song: Who Am I living For

Artisit: Katy Perry <3

Hope you like it :)