His Sunflower

2

'You are good enough, smart enough, beautiful enough and strong enough.'

I can't even imagine how long she must have been standing there for. Did she hear me having a panic attack; she couldn't have, or else she wouldn't be standing here. She probably would have been halfway across the school telling people that I was a freak – which is what they probably thought anyway.

Hesitantly, I reached for my bag, careful not to touch her hand in the process. The words thank you were on the tip of my tongue but I couldn't force them out. I learnt it the hard way that I shouldn't say anything. Talking when not asked to leads to a punishment and I tried my best to prevent that from happening as much as possible.

Ensuring that my hair was covering my face, I gave a small nod of gratitude and hastily walked out of the bathroom towards biology. I made a quick stop at the water fountain and was so glad I was able to hydrate without my father finding out, before heading into the classroom.

From the corner of my eye, I could just about see the clock and realised that I was already forty-five minutes late. I reminded myself to take deep breaths before I hyperventilate, hoping that my college wouldn't inform my father that I missed most of my lesson.

"Lily, nice to see you turn up to class this early! What was more interesting than attending my lesson on time?", my biology professor questioned, his sarcasm highlighting his annoyance.

My hands gripped tightly around the straps of my bag and my hands began to get sweaty. Normally I would come to my classes as early as possible so I could take a seat at the back. A seat at the back meant that no one would have to talk to me and I wouldn't have to worry about covering up my bruises. The less people that knew me, the better.

I was never one to enjoy being the centre of attention and I can honestly say that the thirty set of eyes staring at me whilst waiting for me to speak was nerve-wracking.

I tried to think of an excuse, any excuse, to try and save myself from this situation but it seemed like my brain was frozen and my mouth was locked. I opened my mouth to try and say something to salvage the situation but I didn't have to because the brunette girl, who seemed to be wherever I needed her, saved the day, yet again.

'She was with me. I sprained my ankle and she kindly took me to medical and stayed with me until I was feeling better', she signed gracefully, mouthing the words along with her hand gestures. She was slightly limping and walking at a weird angle to support her story, giving me a shy smile and a discrete thumbs up in the process.

I kept my face neutral but inside, I was shocked that one of my classmates knew sign language! A couple of years ago, I picked up a book from the library and taught myself sign language. Back then, I didn't know anyone who knew how to communicate using sign and I had no one to practice it with, but I figured that it was a useful skill to learn in case I needed to help someone out one day.

"Very well. You've both wasted enough of my time. Take a seat and open your textbook to page 146", he replied, turning around to face the board.

Looking around the classroom, I noticed that there were only two chairs left, which were next to each other. I turned around and noticed the brunette girl had already started to make her way over to the desk.

Not wanting to waste anymore time, I made my way over and sat down, taking out all the equipment I needed for the lesson. Grabbing the notebook and pen, I decided to write the girl a thank you note. I quickly scribbled a note and folded it up into a small triangle, sliding it across the table, hoping that she notices it.

Luckily, she did and within a couple of seconds, a small note similar to mine was placed in front of me. Looking at the folded piece of paper in front of me, I began to feel anxious about opening it. What if she thought it was weird that I was communicating with her on paper? What if she thought I was weird that I didnt thank her in person when she saved me, twice!

Deciding to trust her, I nervously opened the note, preparing for the worst but instead, I was pleasantly surprised.

Anything for a friend :) It's nice to meet you and I hope you're okay. I hope those girls didn't hurt you. I gave them a little warning if they did something like that again. I'm Sofia, I dont think we've met, what's your name?

I must have read the note about twenty times, still not believing what I read. Friends? I didnt deserve to be friends with someone like her. Shes smart, pretty and kind, everything that I'm not. How could someone like her possibly even want to interact with me by choice?

No one wants you

You're useless

No wonder your bitch of a mother left, she didn't want to see you as a constant reminder of her failures

Why are you still here? I can get my gun and end it for you right now

No one wants a used slut like you

The constant words that my father had told me replayed in my head like a broken record and I couldn't help but want to spare her of the embarrassment and misfortune of being associated with me.

I was saved by the bell and I practically jumped off the chair I was sitting on, sliding everything into my backpack, wanting to get out of the classroom as quickly as I could.

Before I could leave, I felt a hand on my arm. My whole body froze. I could suddenly feel their hands all over me. I felt dirty and used. I wanted to burn their skin off and erase their touch, but I couldnt. I gripped onto the end of the table and I could see my knuckles turning white. My breathing slowed down slightly before I noticed that the hand wasn't on my arm anymore.

'I'm sorry for scaring you like that, I just didn't want you leaving without finding out your name, she signed quickly, not wanting me to leave without seeing what she had to say.

Grabbing the note she gave me, I scribbled down one word and gave it back to her.

'Lily', she signed, about to tell me something else, but she was too late; I had already left the classroom and ran towards my next lesson.