The Physics of Love

Chapter 1

I'm sitting in the back seat of my mom's car, trying to take a nap. She offered to take me to school to relieve the tension I always feel on the first day, like that's really gonna help. Because I feel it every day. And I'm not sure why. Is it the classes, the teachers or other students, I don't know, but I hate it. I hate it all...From the moment I enter the school facility until the moment I leave it, I'm counting minutes like a prisoner, which I actually am, in a way. A prisoner of the system where I'm constantly being pushed to work harder and aim further, or I'll be squashed by those more ambitious and more hard working, left with a small life and a smaller income.

When did our society come to this? Why do we push kids to learn foreign languages, play piano and ride horses (at the same time) at the age of five? Put them under so much pressure and they'll lose interest in everything. And worse, they'll feel so shitty...Like I do right now...If school is 'the time of our lives', what am I looking at in the future?

'Mom, leave it on!' I snap nervously.

'Sorry honey.' She switches back to 'The 90s', the only station I allow in the car. I guess that 'Come As You Are' isn't high enough on her merry-meter, so she pushed the button automatically.

My parents respect my wishes when it comes to music. It's in accordance with one of their main postulates: 'If you're knowledgeable about something, you get to bring decisions.' I like that postulate...when it suits me. 'Are you okay there? Do you want some water?' Mom operates the vehicle vigorously, fidgeting in a seat too spacious for her small, compact body.

'Mom, water is not what I need!' I snap again.

'I know honey, but maybe you should try to take it down a notch. You don't really have a reason to be this upset. Nothing bad happened, right? We're driving to school, it's a sunny day, we're listening to...er...this...song...'

'Please don't start with that positive thinking bullshit again!'

'You make it sound like popular psychology, honey. I'm just showing you that you shouldn't feel that bad, based on the actual circumstances.'

Mom graduated in psychology, but she stopped practicing after I was born and since then I've been her only patient. When I was younger, she was trying to turn me into a more cheerful and friendly person like herself, but later on she decided to let me be whatever I am fundamentally, helping me get over a crisis if necessary. She says that I'll learn many things in life the hard way because of my stubbornness, but if that's the way I want it, she'll stand on the side with an ice pack whenever I hit the wall. And so she does.

'Where's Annie? Why didn't we pick her up?' she changes the subject. Her train of thought probably went from one depressed teenager to another one.

'Her dad will bring her today. He's got a late meeting...or something. Ha... here they are.'

Mom is pulling up and I'm rushing out to catch Annie before she gets inside.

'Bianca, please eat something healthy for lunch, okay?' Mom is doing everything right. So, she eats right too.

'Okay mom, I will.'

'Love you, honey.'

'Love you too, mom.'

She'd probably chat some more (I bet she's got another pep talk up her sleeve), but she doesn't want to keep the next parent waiting for the spot. So, as soon as I'm out of the car safely, she releases the brakes and moves down the street. Yep, that's my mom, a woman who brought me to this world; a good parent and a conscious citizen.

I see Annie slamming the door of her dad's Tesla, parked right in front of the school gate. Obviously angry, she's moving forwards too fast and I'm struggling to reach her. After I spent a summer like a couch potato, panting just because I walk briskly is exactly what I deserve.