BL Oneshots - ᴇɴɢ - ∞

💮🎲 - tgcf -

- angst comf -
- 927 words -

An all-too familiar silver butterfly glittered amongst the suffocating darkness. In the back of Xie Lian's mind, the possibility of one day suddenly waking up to an empty bed again, lingered pure fear and hopelessness.
After spending such a genuinely painful and worrisome year separated from his partner these kinds of thoughts still struck pain into his dear heart. It still ached when thinking about that time without his beloved San Lang.

He stretched out his finger for the seemingly innocent creature to have a rest. As soon as it landed a hand grabbed Xie Lian's other one from behind him. It was none other than San Lang's. But before any of them could've uttered a word out, he burst into those graceful silver-winged creatures of his.

A fraction of a second later the cultivator's eyes suddenly opened, his glimmering tears made the insides of Paradise Manor blurry. He took off from the bedroom with a pair of his husband's dices, straight to the armory to clear his head.

In a place full of magical weapons, and his old sword that got spared after he found it, he felt a little safer. Safer that his San Lang wasn't stirred awake by his movements and the way he gasped for air from crying.
He needed a few minutes alone to rearrange his thoughts and compose himself again. Since his beloved didn't need to know about how badly that year affected him.

Those few minutes turned into nearly half an hour as his last hiccups died down. Truth be told, Hua Cheng was more than awake when he smelled the salty scent of tears but he didn't go after his husband. Xie Lian probably wanted to be alone that he left their room and Hua Cheng gave him his space and privacy.

He was fidgeting with the sleeve of his nightwear, eventually sending off E-ming to check up on his beloved god. Not long after the magical scimitar came back, flying straight into its sheath.
Sensing that his dices are being used again, Hua Cheng stood up and waited for his god to show up in their room.

"Is Gege alright?" He asked as Xie Lian stepped into the room. He went to take the dices back to his nightstand. He turned his head towards the flooring in shame. How could he cry over and over a silly dream? It was so childish in his eyes. Crying over a bad dream...

"Yes, but did I wake San Lang up...?" His tone was careful, yet hoarse from crying a few minutes prior.

"This ghost is fine without sleeping." Hua Cheng replied softly. Xie Lian cared more about his sleep than letting himself fall into his beloved's arms. Xie Lian sat on the edge of the bed, still refusing to look at his husband's face. Into his welcoming crimson eye.

Upon seeing this, Hua Cheng kneeled down in front of him and cupped his cheek. Then between his fingertips he could feel the tears not being dried completely. "Is Gege really okay? This one feels otherwise." Hua Cheng's words only made him turn his head to the side in shame and guilt. He didn't like the fact of hiding this from his beloved but he felt so ashamed that he saw fit as not letting Hua Cheng know.

San Lang having not figured out what exactly the root of the god's sadness was, stood up midway and hugged him close. Xie Lian started to slip back into being a crying mess again. He nuzzled his head into his partner's crimson robes, tainting the colour to a dark shade of burgundy.
But Hua Cheng didn't mind it in the slightest. Instead, he waited for the perfect time to say something as the first speaking up in that situation would've been his god.

After quite some time of silence Xie Lian thanked him for his presence as well as keeping quiet about his dream. It certainly hit a nerve but it wasn't like Hua Cheng should be worrying about him over a silly dream.

"Gege can talk about it as he sees fit. Although, this one is curious."

"Can San Lang give me one of his butterflies?" Xie Lian asked softly, wanting to pet one of his creatures to reassure himself history isn't repeating itself in the future. Hua Cheng's lips curved up as he did so, his heart warming from the change in his husband's voice.

Xie Lian spent a few minutes thinking how he should approach his situation as to not concern his beloved. He couldn't stomach lying to Hua Cheng if he were to ask the matter.

"I've seen this butterfly in a dream. And many more as San Lang burst into them again. I am all right now, I just stepped out for a minute. San Lang doesn't need to worry about that." Xie Lian spoke up as he pet the glimmering creature.

"This one is sorry. I hurt Gege again," Hua Cheng said as he rested one hand on his husband's shoulder. Of course, these kinds of nights weren't easy for him either. Truth be told again, Hua Cheng had a suspicion rather than just a simple thought. Deep down he knew these nightmares came back from time to time because of how he left his god. And he felt his whole body aching as he thought about it.

"San Lang is back, no need to apologise. Gege is fine." Xie Lian looked up and softly smiled at his ghost.