bros (a bxb story)

Fourteen

I sat back on the couch. Did everyone know that I was a fag? Was I a total idiot? Probably not all the girls I fucked. Well, at least not before I fucked them. Maybe they did afterwards.

"You're upset? More than just about being honest with yourself?"

"Jeremy and I...." I trailed off, not wanting to get into particulars. But it looked like I didn't have to.

"Oh, Jimmy. I'm so sorry. Boys suck, honey! They do, they suck!" Stella slapped her hand on her knee to emphasize her opinion.

Cody cleared his throat.

"All boys except you, baby," Stella acknowledged fairly. "You, you're okay."

He shrugged and smiled sadly at me.

"Jeremy's an asshole and always has been, Jimmy. You can do way better than him. I mean it, bro. I know he's always been your best friend. And I guess he's not a complete degenerate, but he looks out for numero uno first and then worries about other people." Cody said, leaning against his girlfriend, then subtly checked his smartwatch to see the time.

"I'm sorry. I'm okay. Can I crash on the couch? You guys have plans. Go." I wiped my nose on my sleeve and tried to pull myself together.

"No way," Stella said firmly. "We are going to order chinese food and pig out and then eat Ben and Jerry's. And watch TV until we crash. It's a rule after a breakup."

I shuddered at her word choice. I guess it was kind of what happened. A break up. Not that we were ever together. Technically. But we kind of were. Kind of. He slept in my bed for more than a week straight. We held each other. It felt romantic to me, although I wouldn't have used those words. It felt...special, important. Good. Awesome. And now, it felt horrible.

Cody tried to manage his face and failed.

"What? What's with that look?" Stella pushed him. "We need to be here for Jimmy. This is our fault. I'm so sorry Jimmy. All this make over boys love shit. We only did it because..."

Her boyfriend elbowed her hard, and she zipped her lips.

"Because...we wanted you guys to be happy," Cody finished. "But..." He looked embarrassed. "In order to make my girl happy, I booked us a room for three days in a glitzy hotel downtown, with reservations at the fanciest restaurant in walking distance. And it's nonrefundable. And cost a fortune. So.." he smiled kindly at me. "So Jimmy, we're going to take off. You're okay though, right? Not thinking of... hurting yourself... or anything?"

Stella gasped dramatically and looked at me, her eyes wild with worry. "You're not, are you??? There's no way I'm leaving if..."

"I'm fine." I said as calmly as I could. "I mean, not fine, fine. But I'm okay. Really. I just want to go to sleep. Tomorrow I'll figure out my next steps. Just go, Stella. Go have fun."

After much hemming and hawing, they finally left. And I was alone.

Part of me was glad. I was grateful for both their kindness, and glad I had a place to crash, but Stella could be a bit much and now I realized she might text her brother. I didn't want Sammy involved in any of this shit. I wasn't ready to talk to anyone face to face.

Which made me think. And I got an idea.

I went to Stella's bathroom. I looked into the mirror.  I saw my reflection. 

 Some guy. Long wavy brown hair. To almost my jawline. Which was sharp and defined thanks to not eating as much as I wanted. Full reddish lips. White, even teeth courtesy of bleach and Invisalign. A long neck. Prominent adam's apple. Decent shoulders. Nice body. Long lean arms and legs. Good, clear skin.