Chaos in the Cavity of Peace (Love in Mendiola Series #1)

Chapter 24

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

KEECIA

"How have you been since our last session?" my therapist asked as I sat in her office.

I stared at her blankly, my mind swirling with thoughts, unsure of how to respond.

How had I been since our last session?

It had only been five days since then... when everything seemed fine and I thought everything was finally falling back into place... when I thought things were going to be okay, that I had everything under control... because I had everything... I have my loving family and my friends... I had Caine... who have always been there and supported me through it all.

But just two days ago, it all came crashing down, and in just a snap, I lost everything. Again.

Kaya kung paano sasagutin ang tanong niyang kumusta na nga ba ako ay hindi ko alam.

Sobrang bilis ng mga pangyayari. Para akong nananaginip. I don't think it sunk in to me yet. Hindi ako makapaniwala na sa loob lang ng halos tatlong buwan... nawalan ako ng oras, nawalan ako ng anak... at ngayon maging si Caine ay nawala na rin sa akin.

Honestly, I feel numb... I feel nothing. Sa sobrang sakit at bilis ng mga nangyari ay parang wala na akong maramdaman. Posible ba yon? Hindi ko alam. Hindi ko na rin alam kung paano ko pa nagagawang maka-survive sa bawat araw na dumadating. It feels like I'm here, but I'm just fleeting...

Her voice broke through my deafening thoughts. "I heard about what happened to the truck driver... and what happened with Caine—"

"Doc, masama po ba akong tao?" I blurted out. My eyes drifted to the notebook she held, filled with her meticulous notes from our previous sessions. "You've been taking notes since our first session, right? Surely, you must have figured out what's wrong with me by now... so tell me, is this my punishment for all my faults and mistakes?"

She closed her notebook and her pen, putting them down on the table to give me her full attention. "No, Ciacia. You are not a bad person, and you don't deserve all the pain you're going through. But this is not about being deserving or undeserving. What truly matters is that you learn and grow from these experiences..."

As I shook my head and opened my mouth to say something, she immediately cut me off by placing a hand on mine to offer gentle reassurance.

"It's natural to question yourself in times like this," she continued with a soothing voice, "and I want you to know that your feelings right now are valid, especially after what you've been through. It's completely normal to feel this way. But it's also important to remember that you are not defined by the difficulties you face. Your worth as a person goes beyond your hardships."

Umiling ulit ako. "Hindi eh. If I've been good, then why am I rewarded with heartbreak after heartbreak? I feel like I'm trapped in a never-ending cycle of pain... parang wala pong katapusan... Doc, makakabangon pa ba ako nito? May pag-asa pa ba ako?"