Chaos in the Cavity of Peace (Love in Mendiola Series #1)

Prologue

PROLOGUE

KEECIA

Peaceful. Calm. Serene.

That's how I used to feel.

That's how he used to make me feel every time he'd wrap me in his arms. Every time he'd kiss me. Every time he'd look me in the eyes.

For he was my sanctuary, my solace... my home.

Until he chose to leave and break my heart.

It took me long enough to heal and get over the fissures of our relationship.

I thought I've moved on, and when we cross paths again, I'd feel numb. I thought it'd be meaningless, like feeling nothing. After all, sinaktan niya ako... inubos niya ako.

But it wasn't like that at all... because reality was far crueler.

Seeing him again standing exactly where I first laid eyes on him made my heart shatter and sink into the pit of my stomach.

It was like being stabbed in the chest. Repeatedly.

Like getting hit by a big truck. Then it rolled over again. Then one more time.

Hindi na dapat ganito. Dapat hindi na masakit. Dapat ay wala na akong maramdamang kahit ano.

I've moved on. Okay na ako, 'di ba?

Then, why does his presence bring so much pain? Again? I could literally feel it spread throughout my whole body, making everything break—every shard pierced into my soul.

Maybe this is all just a dream. Maybe my eyes are deceiving me. I closed my eyes, but when I opened them again, it was still his face that I saw.

Caine motherfucking De Laurentis, in the flesh.

It really is him, and his eyes were directly piercing into mine. I hated staring back at them; it brings back memories that I have so long forgotten... or so I thought.

But how dare he? Paano niya nagagawang tumingin sa mga mata ko na parang wala lang? Like he didn't hurt me? Like he didn't blindside me years ago?

Well, malakas naman na talaga ang loob niya kahit nung umpisa pa lang. Or perhaps, he never truly loved me at all? Kaya nakakaya niyang umakto na parang wala lang ang lahat sakaniya ngayon?

Napalitan ng galit ang sakit na nararamdaman ko ngayon. Gusto ko tuloy tusukin ang mga mata niyang mapupungay kung maka-tingin sa akin, o dukutin sila pareho para matigil na ito.

Why is he here, anyway? What the fuck is he doing here?

Is he just here by chance, or did he intentionally come to see me? I mean, what are the odds?

I snapped back to reality when someone accidentally nudged my arm. Nilalampasan at dinadaan-daanan na lang ako ng mga tao sa paligid ko, samantalang nanatili akong naka-pako sa kinatatayuan ko. Hindi ko man lang napansin kung gaano katagal na akong nakatayo roon. Fuck. Get your shit together, Ciacia.

I sighed, summoning my courage, and proceeded to cross the road.

I saw him move, too. My heart went wild when I realized he was about to meet me halfway... he's really here for me.

I stopped in the middle of the road. He stopped just a foot away from me.

My throat tightened as I swallowed hard. I raised my head and met his gaze, trying to decipher the emotions behind those eyes. Confusion ran through me when I saw pain and... longing.

Again, how dare he?

He was the one who left.

He was the one who broke me. Us.

How dare he look at me as if I was the one who ended it all?

How dare he look at me as if I was the one who hurt him?

A faint smile flickers across his lips as he opens his mouth and utters the words that had my heart breaking even more.

"It's been a long time, doc."

Indeed, it had been. It's been years. 

It had also been long enough since I got to hear that voice. See him. Feel him. Touch him. 

And god, did it hurt. It shouldn't be like this anymore... because I'd spent years forgetting every detail—from his hair, his captivating eyes, his pointed nose, and his full lips, to his defined jaw.

I thought I'd successfully forgotten everything. But I still remember every little detail.

How he made me happy.

How he made me love him.

How he hugged, kissed, and made love to me.

How he promised a future with me.

How he fooled me.

How everything turned into a shadow of the past.

And how he became the ghost of my love.

It hurt.

God, it hurt so much because all it took was one look, and I found myself back in the beginning.

Akala ko okay na ako. Akala ko ubos na ang lahat ng sakit. Pero akala lang pala lahat ng iyon.

Parang gaya lang ng dati.

I thought he was going to be my peace in this world full of chaos.

Little did I know, it was the other way around. 

Because ever since we first crossed paths in the uproar of that rally, all he did was consistently and effectively introduce chaos into my peaceful life.