I will destroy this novel (wmmap)

first step

Flash back
Lucille pov
after I died in my first life I reincarnated in another world. at first I was concerned about what happened to Yuki . I was sad that my sister isn't here but what made me better is my biological mom. I don't remember her clearly because it was long time ago.

The only thing I remember about her is her silky black hair and her bright smile that always warms my heart. she died after two years since my birth. when she died the people left me the only one who took care of me was my nanny her name was.... I forget it. yes, I forget it because it was long time ago.

after my nanny left the maids took care of me but they didn't treat me well especially the head maid, she always treat as trash On the excuse that she wants to discipline me and that she knows the best for me but I knew from the start that she was lying.

I didn't do anything about it because I was so so weak So I just accepted it. She always abused me until I was twelve It was in the bitter winter when she took me to that cold and dark cellar"Your Highness, you have misbehaved again, so you will be punished again and you will not have dinner today."The head maid said while dragging Lucille hard.

"I didn't do anything wrong they are lying. please don't do this to me" I begged her in every possible way, but she did not listen to my screaming and crying actions.

That maid threw me into the cellar and closed the door with sly smile. I was scared, I was shiver from the cold. "Why? why is she treating me like this. I didn't do anything, please someone help me. take me from  here please."

I was praying to God to get me out of that dark and cold place, this situation made me thinking about my first life when I died and left Yuki behind me, I was looking into the void with great sadness. I continued to cry a lot about my miserable life, whether at the first or the second.

I was wondering why no one came to help me, especially my biological father. I'm his daughter, at least he should know if I'm eating well and wearing warm clothes, but he didn't "I think he's already forgotten me. No,he didn't  care that's all" That's what I thought about all that time.

I've been in that cellar for three days, without food or anything to warm me up. At first I was afraid of the dark but I got used to it, I felt lonely and lonely, as if I was going to stay this way forever.
I was screaming hoping someone would come and help me but to no avail. Thinking about why they hate and ignore they give me made me feel terrible. especially my biological father.

'I am about three years older than Athanasia. I am twelve years old now, which means Athanasia is nine years old now. This means that Claude has already met her. I wonder if he knows what is happening to me now. I feel dying, I don't want to die again, I don't want to, I'm afraid of it. someone, please get me out of here. I don't care whose the one will get me out of here. What matters is that I live. I want to live. why no one help me "

In my last moments I heard a loud noise that I couldn't distinguish well. "So loud, if you're going to let me die, let me die quietly" I muttered hardly.
In the end My vision started to blur and I started to lose my breath as well. In those moments I realized that no one would come to help me. 'I wonder if this is the end' After I closed my eyes from the severity of my fatigue, I heard the opening of a door forcefully and the sounds of screaming and pleading, I felt someone carrying me that one was warm I wondered at that moment if I will live but I died immediately after that, I do not know if it was The person who was shouting is one of the servants or not, no matter who opened the door. It's too late.

when I opened my eyes again I realized that I came back to the age of seven, and whenever I die, I come back to life again "So it's that way, huh"

I died twenty times, every times  I died I feel despair more and more All the deaths that I have died are often different from each other. In my lives eighteen, nineteen and twenty all of them I died by execution.