The End of a New Beginning // Daryl Dixon

Part 25

Meredith

I limped through the field, making my way to the fence. I last saw Rick passing through the woods across the small creek that trailed through the prison grounds. I easily spotted Rick and held onto the fence, calling after him. The sounds of growls fills my ears and I turn to see some walkers on the main side of the fence. I turn back to the woods, seeing Rick walking around almost in a panic way.

"Rick!" I whisper yell. "Rick!" He stops in his tracks, looking around frantically before turning around and spotting me. He walk towards me, still looking around himself. He walks over the small bridge and finally approaches the other side of the fence. I was a bit nervous as this is pretty much our first time talking to each other one on one since Lori, that was about a week ago or so. He doesn't make much eye contact with me and I wish we could talk. So...I'm doing the thing and talking to him first- even though I might regret it or get my feelings hurt.

"You know I wouldn't have limped all the way down here if it wasn't important." I tell him. "Are you coming back soon? Glenn's on a warpath. Smart as he is, he can't fill your boots. We need you now more than ever. I do."

"If you're so worried about him, you lead 'em." He waves me off.

"You know just as much as I do, I'd get everyone killed in 24 hours." I say. "I'm not as good as you." Rick let's out a sigh and turns his head away. I knew that maybe I'd be able to get him to talk if I got down to his level, rather than telling him shit he's not going to care about in this moment.

"What are you doing out here?" I ask him.

"I've-I've been-I've got..." He turns his head away again. "Stuff out here. Stuff." I nodded my head.

"How much longer do you need?" I ask.

"I don't know." He answers quietly. "I don't..." He sighs out and looks down at the ground.

"Is there anything I can help you with?" I ask.

"You've done plenty for me." He shakes his head. His eyes darted into mines like daggers and I knew he blamed me for what happened to Lori.

I swallowed hard and looked down. I wanted to walk away, leave him to his grief and all, but I knew he needed somebody. Needed somebody to maybe relate with.

"I...." I look up and his eyes lock with mines. "I'm a diagnosed schizophrenic. I...see things that aren't there. Hear things that aren't there." I lightly chuckle at how crazy it all sounds. "95% of my life, I can never tell what's real and what's...in my head. I'm having full conversations with things that I think are talking back to me, but in your eyes, I'm talking to a chair like a crazy person. It's hard living with it. But being surrounded by people who love me and understand me, it makes it easier. Daryl would remind me, pull me back to reality if he saw me staring, talking, pacing, pinching the back of my hands. He was always there and he knew what was happening in the moment. He always knew how to pull me back. He didn't stare at me like I was crazy, didn't go off talking about me to you or anybody behind my back about it. He kept it to himself and he helped me. Just Daryl. Rick, I can be your Daryl. I can...I can help you. If you let me. I know what happened to...It wasn't easy doing what I did to save your baby. Her loss will always follow me. Her blood will always be on my hands. And I...I won't ever blame you if you hate me or lose trust in me. But I at least wanna have the chance to say that I'm sorry. I am. I truly am, Rick." Rick holds a stare with me. I waited a few more seconds for him to say something, but he didn't. I turn away from the fence and took a step to head back to the prison.

"I saw something." He announces. I stopped in my tracks, feeling a little spark in me of happiness. I was felt happy that Rick wanted to share with me why he's been out here. I turn around and face him, limping back to the fence and holding onto it to keep the pressure off my leg.