Lament of the Slave

Chapter 71: No Loot

This time, my roar made the young mossbear took a step back. It almost looked as if it was afraid of my rage. And it made me bare my fangs in a wide grin. The fact that the beast's hesitation could have been the work of my presence or killer intent, as Deckard described it a moment ago, didn't matter too much to me.

What mattered was I let go of those bottled up emotions, just as when in my desperation, I had challenged the beasts to come to the clearing. I admit it was a bit embarrassing, for some reason even more than then, and I was glad the only witness was Deckard. Yet, I couldn't deny it felt good.

It didn't help me in the fight, though. Although every punch, every swipe of my claws contained my fury at being torn away from my home, that my kicks held my hatred of Dungreen and his ilk, it didn't make me stronger. What it made me was more careless. Because of that, I quite soon learned why Deckard had warned me to do this where I was sure one or two mistakes wouldn't cost me my life. It was inevitable. I made those mistakes, and while I didn't die, I lost the fight yet again.

The man who had advised me to let my emotions out in this way did not comment on my defeat like I expected. He just nodded approvingly with a smile on his lips while I was being covered in moss for the umpteenth time tonight. The difference was that this was the first time mother mossbear controlled it instead of Esu, and it made me a little worried. Needless to say, her healing was no weaker than his.

So, it didn't take long before I was fit for another round of this training, and it was the first time tonight I ever took it that way. I finally saw it as training, not just fighting. It wasn't something I had to do for fear of angering a powerful beast. I did it for myself, to learn, to get stronger. It was a nice change.

The beast didn't make it any easier for me, and it was the same struggle and pain as before, even though I solved many of my issues tonight. I felt more relaxed, more at ease. This allowed me to focus more on learning from these struggles, and I did. At least to me, that's what it felt like.

The beast was learning, too, though.

It learned to defend against my attacks, to anticipate them, and how to strike back more effectively. It even learned to hold back, not kill me without Esu or anyone else having to stop it.

Still, I got mauled pretty severely every time I lost.

What's worse, each time it got harder and harder to come back. Not that I didn't want to, but my body was reaching its limits. Physically, I was perfectly fine. Yet, being torn to pieces and crushed over and over again, only to be healed each time, had left its mark on me. I was exhausted, so exhausted that after the last fight and the following healing, I just couldn't get up. I simply didn't have the energy to do so.

As it turned out, the [Tireless Machine] allowed me to go beyond normal human limits and get me this far, but it was not an omnipotent skill. The [Indomitable Will] kept me awake, sharp and focused, but even that skill didn't make my body move and fatigue go away. In the end, I just had to admit to myself the inevitable, that this was the end, that I couldn't go any further in this training.

"Mother," I whimpered, lying on the forest floor, trying to express my apology. "I'm weak. I can't fight anymore."

She moved her head in what could only be described as a nod and grunted. "Weak, indeed."

She did not judge, just agreed with what I said.

"Great determination," she added in a grumble. I hadn't expected her to praise me, so I was caught a little off guard by it, unable to decide how to respond.

Mother mossbear, measured as she was, was faster and growled before I did. "Do not lose."

I wished I could promise her that, that I really can keep that determination. However, I dared not do so, fearing that I would later regret my words. So instead of showing my confidence, I just whimpered in recognition of her words.