Lament of the Slave

Chapter 66: Beast

Clenching my fists, I suppressed the urge to punch him. Deckard was the one who told me to ask Esu. The one who, despite where we were and what was going on around us, was calm and acted like nothing was of concern. It gave me a false sense of security, made me feel like my fears were unnecessary, that if I was foolish to have them at all. He made me feel all I had to do was treat Esu with respect, and everything would be fine.

Foolish notion supported by the fact that Esu thought of me as his spawn, which in a twisted sort of way I was. It definitely played a part in my daring to ask.

But it didn't make Deckard's remarks any less irritating, especially when I had to admit he was right about the latter. "I'm not fearless," I told him he was wrong about that. "Every time I ask, I'm scared, hesitant, searching for the right words not to offend him."

Deckard raised an eyebrow, realizing he may have chosen the wrong words. "Hey girl, look..."

"But you're right. I don't know what to think of Esu," I dared to interrupt him for the first time. "I'm aware that he's an extremely powerful beast, massive, ancient, and who knows what else. Ten times my level, considering me his spawn. Plus, my instincts aren't working in his case."

"Your instincts?" Deckard asked, his curiosity piqued.

I froze, realizing I might have said something I shouldn't have. Cursing my big mouth, I sighed and made up my mind to tell him about it. "Yeah, my instincts. I don't know if it's part of the [Beast] or my mutations," I paused for a moment, thinking about my decision to tell him. However, I desperately needed someone I could trust. "Maybe they are a combination of both. Anyway, as far as Esu is concerned, they're at a loss."

Deckard found this fascinating for some reason, and I ended up gradually telling him about what I felt in the presence of the other beasts in the clearing. Well, except for the adult mossbears, who I haven't had the pleasure of facing yet.

"Seriously? Lie on your back, exposing your stomach and neck?" He almost laughed when I told him how I felt in the presence of mother mossbears. "Did you do it?"

This time, instead of answering, I gave him a stern look. I didn't find it that funny, at least at the time. Now that he made me imagine myself actually doing it, I couldn't help but grin a little.

I also realized that Deckard did it again. When he noticed that the sight of the dead man brought tears to my eyes, he immediately diverted my attention elsewhere, unaware that the memory of my mother was the cause of my sadness.

For a second, I considered saying thank you but quickly changed my mind. He wouldn't appreciate it and would probably brush it off with some remark like, "Don't sweat it, girl."

"Cub," Esu grunted above me, making me jump. Yet I immediately turned to him and looked up. "The mature ones fought. Now let them go. The young ones too."

This massive beast made me utterly speechless again. Then I panicked a bit at the thought of what I should do, thinking immediately about how to do it because "no" was not an option. This time he wanted me to tell them they could go, leave the clearing and vent their frustration elsewhere.

He could very well have done it himself. It would be no doubt faster. However, I was aware that in addition to practicing my combat skills with the young mossbear, he was trying to teach me something by letting me do this. Though what he was trying to teach me escaped me.

Was it roaring like a beast? I think I handled it pretty well, even though it was still awkward for me. Was there some extra trick to it I missed? I couldn't think of any.