"I don't need you to protect me"

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It’s been four days since Harry started working at the diner -Jimmy and brothers. He was on the morning shift, which was good for him regarding his condition. There was nothing pleasant about being out when it was dark outside. He was never really a fan of darkness anyway. Well, scratch that, he was scared of darkness. And on the other hand, he was always up early morning. So everything was working in a perfect rhythm.

The best part was he stopped taking his medications entirely, and thanks to the internet, he found other ways to cope with his issues.

For instance, the first thing he did when he woke up on his fifth day of work was to go out for a 30 minutes run. He would jog around the neighborhood and come back home. Taking a hot shower to relax his tense muscles was next on his list. It was always a struggle to fall asleep and stay asleep comfortably. Hence, a hot shower helped him to have a calmer morning than the previous night. One thing he learned about himself was that a bit of alcohol in the morning kept his mind from going 100 thoughts per second. So after a small breakfast, he had one shot of straight vodka. Only one, and he got dressed to go to work.
This routine was the only one that was working on him.

To people who didn't know him, Harry looked like someone with a lot of energy with a big, charming smile on his face all the time. A person who was up to do anything at any time of his shift. This was their usual, cheery Harry, who sometimes talked too fast for them to understand. But was this the real Harry? Few people knew, and the small group who were aware either were far away or Harry pushed them away.

And not to mention, the customers loved him. He was charming and kind to everyone. He wouldn’t lose the chance to flirt with girls who obviously found him attractive and boys who couldn’t take their eyes off him.

Around 10 AM was always their least busy hour. People had already had breakfast, and it was too early for lunch. This is why Harry was just hanging around the kitchen, going through his phone and occasionally talking to the staff when one of the girls-who Harry forgot her name- called him to serve a customer.

The guy was sitting alone in a booth at the corner of the diner. His back was facing Harry. Harry watched from afar as the guy put his head on the table with a heavy sigh.

"Are you alright, Sir?" Harry asked politely when he approached the guy.

Hesitantly, the guy pulled himself off the table, “Harry?”

"Oh, hi!" Harry smiled uncontrollably when he saw the familiar face.

“Hi?! Oh my god. I can’t believe this! Why didn’t you answer your phone?!”

It was so hard for Harry to explain himself to Aron at the moment. Would Aron believe if Harry said he did it to protect him?

Aron did not wait for Harry to answer his question. He just rushed out of the diner, feeling dumb and betrayed.

For a couple of seconds, Harry watched Aron as he stormed away from him, but he couldn't take it to be the reason why Aron was this upset. So he ran after him.

“Aron! Wait!”

Aron heard him very loud and clear, but he ignored him like Harry dismissed Aron for four days straight.

Harry ran a bit faster and stopped Aron before he could get to his car. “Listen to me! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to hurt you!”

Aron shook his head. "You could've texted me, Harry. I was about to go to the police and report you as missing! I was sure you wouldn't just disappear on me!" he yelled with red eyes, resisting to shed even one more tear over someone who clearly didn't give a damn about him.

“Aron, you- you don’t get it!”

"Oh, for heaven's sake! Try me!" Aron pushed Harry a little to provoke him, maybe.

"YOU DESERVE MORE THAN A FRIEND LIKE ME!" Harry finally yelled back. "I will ruin you. Can't you see that?!" Harry took a shaky breath, trying to even his heartbeats.

"And you thought making me believe I'm never good enough despite everything I've done for you was the best way to keep me from being ruined?" Aron laughed and let a couple of tears fall down before whipping them away with the sleeve of his shirt.

"That- That was not my intention-" Harry stated, biting on his fingernails, trying so hard to keep control of his thoughts before they could take control of him.

"Well, that's how I felt! Seeing you here, all smiley while I was worried sick for you- you know what? You are not the first person who has done this to me. I certainly hope you are the last, though. I don't think I can take any more of this." Aron sighed and took a step back, ready to walk away. Little did he know that this would trigger Harry, but he needed some answers.

"No! No, no, no, no!" Harry blocked Aron's way. His hands were shaky, but he was trying hard to hide them. "Please! You need to listen to me!" he didn't mean to, but he started pulling on his hair. In his mind, there was one thing. He couldn't let Aron go when he was clearly upset with him.

Aron stared at Harry, having his arms crossed over his chest, "Go on, Harry, I'm listening."

Out of the blue, Harry sat down on the cold ground in the parking lot, right in front of Aron's car. With a heavy huff, Harry mumbled, "I'm sorry." he pulled his knees to his chest, "I just- I-I just didn't want you to- to deal with this version of me."

Aron knew he wasn't dealing with a mentally healthy person. He knew he couldn't really hold Harry accountable for his choices. But he couldn't precisely help not to be hurt. So, he sat right before Harry and took his shaky hands in his steady ones. "I forgive you. But please, Harry, don't do this ever again."

Harry nodded in acknowledgment, "It looks like it's about to snow." Harry looked up, again wholly distracted. Aron chuckled. "Did you hear me, Harry? I don't need you to protect me."

"Then promise you will protect yourself from me." He gave Aron a bone-crushing hug.

"C'mon, let's get inside. Lunch is on me." Harry mumbled back to his cheery self.

Aron has read enough about Harry's condition to know that he was not on his medications, mood swings like this were just the beginning, and he knew the person to blame. He wasn't sure if he should force Harry to see a therapist; all Aron was sure about was that he needed to keep a close eye on him. The stuff that Google said about the consequences of not taking medications was horrifying.

*************
Hello lovely people.

imma start by saying, i had this written for more than a month now. but if you know what is happening in iran you know that i didn't have a stable connection to update this book and honestly? with everything thats happening right now idek whats the right thing to do. i am deeply sorry for the wait though.
i will not make any promises this time, i just hope for a free country and free internet.
love you all.
 

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