Tell Me How To Be Like You (Zarry)

"Easily replaceable"

The following Monday morning, Harry pretended to be asleep on the couch while Aron was getting ready for work. He didn't have any valid reason to isolate himself from Aron. Still, his brain was just too busy making plans for the day to make time to chat and socialize. Seeing Harry's peaceful sleeping face, Aron couldn't help but be as quiet as possible, ensuring he won't disturb Harry. Deep down, he somehow wanted to have breakfast with him, but Aron knew he couldn't expect much from Harry.

Aron left after he made sure Harry had something to eat when he woke up. The smell of coffee filled the small apartment, making it harder for Harry to stay curled up in his comfortable position. After a few minutes of staring at the ceiling, Harry finally pushed himself up and walked to the bathroom to freshen up a little. He poured himself a cup of coffee and sat on the kitchen counter to drink it. He knew he could have some of those pancakes Aron had prepared, but Harry felt like he couldn't stomach anything other than coffee at the moment.

As soon as he felt like he had the power to leave, Harry washed the dishes he had used and left the place. At first, he wanted to call a taxi, but that was expensive for someone who didn't have a job anymore. So walking had to do.

You would think a walk would help him clear his mind or at least help him calm down, but for Harry, it was different. He would get lost in his own head – the crowded streets of London would only confuse him even more – so he kept his head down low, blocking out every sound that could throw him off the track.

After about half an hour of walking, he finally reached home. Honestly, all he wanted to do was lay in his bed and do nothing all day. He was feeling tired. He was tired of thinking. But he knew everything would be more difficult if he couldn't find a job. Right now, though, right now he just needed a moment to take a breather. And he needed to charge his phone if he wanted to go out again for job hunting.

As you can guess, Harry wasn't one of those lucky people with an outlet right next to their bed. No, he had to sit on the floor next to his TV if he needed to use his phone while charging it.

"Shit," Harry mumbled when five missed calls from Aron popped up on his phone the second it turned on. He wasn't going to call him back, though. Not because Harry didn't want to talk to the guy but because he needed to stay focused. He needed to look for job offers online before going out to find work. I mean, it'd surely be easier if he could find a decent employer online first- "The wallpaper is getting too old. Eh." And just like that, he was distracted.

Going through his camera roll was not the most brilliant idea. Harry had over 5 thousand pictures of himself and Zayn, and picking one would surely take a whole day. The problem was he could get lost in the photos forever.

The newest pictures he had of the two were either Harry taking pictures when Zayn wasn't paying attention or selfies he took after almost begging for Zayn's attention.

He was looking for recent happy memories. So, he scrolled more. There, he found one from the last Christmas they spent together two years ago. The picture was taken from afar. Harry wasn't sure, but he guessed Trisha had taken the photo since they were at Malik's household. Harry was cuddling Zayn on his chest. Both wrapped around in a warm blanket. A large pine tree behind them with so many decorations. Harry was watching Zayn unwrap his present. A new notebook, something Harry had gifted Zayn ever since he noticed Zayn's passion for writing lyrics. It was their tradition at this point, nothing valuable or expensive, and Zayn knew what he was getting, yet it made his heart flutter every year. Harry smiled at the picture. They look so happy and in love.

He scrolled down through pictures from birthdays and anniversaries. There were many shots of when Zayn had flown Harry out to New York to show him around the city. Back then, Zayn wasn't as famous as he is now, and they got to tour the town almost unnoticed by fans. There were pictures of Zayn showing Harry The Statue of Liberty, Central Park, etc. Harry wanted to see everything; he was eager to make memories in every corner of the city that Zayn called home. There were even a couple of pictures of them in the first apartment that Zayn bought in Brooklyn that couldn't compare to the luxury place he owns in the heart of Manhattan today.

As he was skipping through the pictures, he noticed that as the images were getting older and the quality was getting worse, the two looked happier and healthier.

As time passed in the pictures, he saw how both lost some parts of themselves.

After Harry set the Christmas picture as his new wallpaper for a couple of seconds, he just sat there wondering, will something small but meaningful like that notebook make Zayn smile again? Which reminded him of the last two notebooks he bought for Zayn but didn't have the chance to give them to him anymore.

As he was staring at his home screen, his phone started ringing.

Aron.

He hovered his finger over the screen, doubting whether he should answer the call. He shook his head. Harry knew he was easily replaceable; Harry was aware he wasn't the easiest person to be friends with. Aron should find someone else before Harry could ruin his life too. It was a fact to him that Zayn would be better off without Harry always lingering around his life. But letting go of Zayn was not an option to him. Even the thought of that made his heart drop.

Harry knew that sitting in his house, lurking over his problems, and trying to find a job online would take him nowhere. It was so much harder for him to stay focused without his medications. So there was just one more option. He was going through the city on foot.

Trying to find something decent to wear was proven harder than Harry imagined. He couldn't find something that was ironed and ready. After half an hour of going through his closet, he saw something that looked professional enough to get him a job.

He almost didn't notice, but he walked around the city for 3 hours and still couldn't find a suitable job. Some shops and cafés were recruiting; though he didn't like their environment, he didn't even feel safe enough to go into the shop and see their hiring conditions.

There was one place. The last place Harry could think of was his favorite café. The place he last went with Aron. It was a small place, but it felt warm and welcoming, and that was all he needed.

He walked in, and he felt like the staff was watching him. He just hoped no one remembered the mess he was the last time he went there.

The small interview with the manager, Mr. White, went on pretty well; Harry used every trick in the books to charm his way into the job.

It wasn't the best paying job he could've gotten, but when they told him he could start working from tomorrow, he couldn't be happier. Harry needed this. He needed something to pull him back to being normal again. He needed to feel stable again.

As a matter of fact, he was so happy that all he wanted to do was to call Zayn and tell him.

Since he found a job, he took a cab home. All the way back home, he was thinking, should he sell his car or not? Should he move to some place smaller? Should he go back to therapy? And the most important one, should he call Zayn?

There was a 99% chance of Zayn not being thrilled about Harry being a waiter. So, he decided to save himself from the embarrassment and keep this to himself as long as possible.

The day drained Harry so much that he didn't have the energy to do anything other than take a quick shower and make sure he had something to wear at work tomorrow. He was about to turn off the lights and sleep when he received a text. In all honestly, he thought it would be Aron or Niall.

Not Zayn.

His first thought was that something terrible had happened, that Zayn had reached out to him.

Hey H, I've received your letter. We will see each other soon.

Harry wasn't sure which letter Zayn was talking about. He sends letters to Zayn every now and then. And Zayn rarely reacts to any of them.

The night couldn't have ended better for Harry.

They are going to see each other soon.

Hey baby, looking forward to it. xoxo

*************

Hey guys. I know I'm really late. I'm sorry. writing this boo is so hard and idek why.

thanks for anyone whos reading and supporting.

love you all!