Depressed Boy's Love

I care

I looked for some new clothes–preferably a pj–and I got myself a nice warm fuzzy blanket.
I saw Richie and Sam giggling in the room and I rolled my eyes.

"Truth or dare, Sam" I asked.
Sam rested his hand on his chin in thought and then replied me "Dare"

Richie whispered something in my ear and I couldn't help but frown.
I turned to see her with a big smile on her face and my frown deepened.
What is wrong with me?
It was a simple dare.
Kiss Richie...
Why... Why didn't I want him to kiss her. I told Richie that she could have Sam all to herself. That I'd not fight for him. I didn't like him. I always rooted for her relationship with Sam. What's wrong now? I can finally support her friend as she has her first kiss with the person she loves... But... Why am I so sad?

"Angel?" Sam called me back.
"Oh, right" I blurted "I dare you to kiss Richie"
"What?" He gasped with a disgusted look on his face.
I rolled my eyes "You heard me. What's so bad in kissing my best friend?"
He looked away "Nothing. It's just... I don't..."

He looked up at Richie who was batting her lashes seductively.
He gulped then stole a quick glance at me, with disappointment.

He leaned forward and I felt my heart squeeze in pain.
What the heck is wrong with me?
I can't like him!
I won't like him!
I shouldn't like him!
Then why? Why does it hurt to see him kiss another?
He can't like me.
He can never like me.
He shouldn't like me!
He doesn't like me...
Just like... Just like...

Josh Evans...

A part of me broke when their lips finally connected and another part of me knew that it was meant to be.
But there was this tiny part told me that that was my place. I was meant to be there, moulding our lips together to define our love.
No! I will not listen to the tiny voice!
Most times in movies... More like all the time, the tiny voice is always the best voice... But not in this case! No! I'm not going to listen to it. No!

I glanced in Sam's direction when he pulled away and our eyes locked. I looked away and bit my lip.
This hurt
Richie on the other hand, was having a sugar rush. She was giggling nonstop, I felt like frying her.
I flashed her a fake smile and she smiled back even wider.

I didn't care. I am not going to care! I don't care!!

_________________________________________
It was really late at night, and neither of us had slept. Truth is... I was faaaaar from sleep.
I couldn't stop thinking about everything that had happened.
We were watching a cartoon (I screamed until I got my way) and everyone seemed to be having a good time.

It was horror, because Richie wouldn't let me completely have my way.
I was completely terrified. Too bad I didn't have Sparky here with me. I would have gripped him till I was practically melting into him.
"Aaaaaaaah!" I screamed.
I covered my eyes with my hand and Richie snarled "Can you stop it? You're the one that wanted a cartoon!"
"I never wanted horror! You know I hate horror!" I retorted.
She just rolled her eyes "Well, Sam doesn't mind"
We turned to Sam and he just shrugged.

I pursed my lips.
Richie smiled deviously "I dare you to sit through the whole thing without screaming"
"What?!" I snapped.

"How do you expect me to sit though the whole thing without screaming?!" I pouted.
Richie shrugged "I don't know. Find a distraction maybe? Sam will make sure you don't fall asleep in case I fall asleep"
I frowned. This girl...

"Fine! Hmmph!" I snorted and turned my eyes to the screen.

Richie yawned 20 minutes later and fell asleep on her bed.
It was just me and Sam, and I was trying to hold on to every bit of sanity I had left in me.