(This book has been completely rewritten, you can find the new version on my page under the title "Silently Drowning", the rewritten version is also complete, I suggest reading that book instead but nothing will happen to this one if you don't want...
Reminds me of that song called "Don't stay in school" by Boyinaband.
Before I can even continue my internal complaining I heard sobbing from around the corner, me being the nosey bitch I am of course have to figure out who kicked a puppy.
Turning the corner I see my girlfriend crying into her hands, upon looking closer I notice a bruise on her left cheek. "Principessa what's wrong?" I ask as I approach her, she immediately flings her arms around my shoulders, I lifted her up and allowed her to cry into my neck.
"Who hurt my cupcake?"
"S-sia h-hit m-me." She says in a high pitched tone.
So my sister kicked a puppy. Fucking fantastic.
"Why would she do that amore mia?" [my love]
"I-I d-don't know, I j-just wanted t-to h-help h-her study for history a-and s-she p-punched me and then just walked away."
Every day for the past week I have discovered my own twin sister said something awful or hit my girlfriend. I tried giving her the benefit of the doubt but I don't think I can anymore, what's her excuse for constantly hurting Tiara?
Today is no different than that time I ran into Tiara with tears rolling down her cheek saying Alessia was relentlessly bullying her about her weight.
I needed to find my so-called sister which shouldn't be that hard. It's not like she has a life anyway.
Walking down the halls and noticing all the whispers, I can't quite make out what they are saying, probably random rumors about a poor freshman again.
My bet is on Penelope. She's always doing something weird or disgusting or both.
Like that time she bragged about eating mac & cheese out of the trash because somebody paid her a dollar to do so.
Finally I found her sitting by herself in the library, well she wasn't actually by herself as there was a guy standing near her table but I doubt he is actually there because she is.
"You fucking bitch!" I shout, she seemed to have flinched slightly but I can't say I blame her considering she didn't even see me enter the room.
"What did I do?" She whispers, if I didn't know any better I would think she actually had no clue what I'm talking about.
"You know... Being related to you is ruining my relationship. Why can't you be literally anyone else?"
"I'm sorry but I really don't know what you're talking about."
"My girlfriend just told me that you have been hitting her. How fucking dare you."
"I would never-"
"Why would she lie to me?" I questioned.
"Why would I?" My twin sister shoots back, and I hate to admit it but she has a point. Why would she lie to me? My head hurts.
"I don't know you tell me."
"Nicky, she is using you-"
"I hate you." I cut her off, knowing where the conversation was heading, she's only tried to convince me that Tiara wasn't 'good enough' for me at least a billion times.
A heart can only take so much betrayal.
If only I knew that phrase wouldn't even be about me.
This is what I was meant to do, it's what Lorenzo would want me to do...
But why does it hurt so much?
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Alessia Ferrari
A heart can only take so much.
I wish I could say that wasn't uncommon information, the first time I thought my own twin actually hated me I remember telling myself I was being dramatic, but then he started avoiding me and only talking to me when he was yelling at me for nagging or when he needed a cover which of course I always did, he's my twin, my first best friend, my brother...
I'd give my life for him in a heartbeat, without a pause, a second thought wouldn't even be in the equation.
When your body has had enough it shuts down and goes its own way within waiting for a better time, leaving you numb and half-alive.
"Alessia..."
I forgot Manny was standing next to me, Niccolò had already stormed off.
"I'm fine-" I smile at him, "I really need to get to class, the bell will be ringing any second now."
"Okay but... Are you okay?" He says with concern lacing his voice — why would he be concerned?
He shouldn't be.
I'm not worth his concern.
"Why wouldn't I be?" I say softly while still smiling at him then walking away before he can even respond.
I always thought of my twin to be my hope, life can be shit but I can't let him lose his twin sister and maybe I always knew he hated me especially since I killed out parents, but hearing him say it is a different story, it's the confirmation I never wanted but maybe it's a good thing. Maybe there's nothing holding me back.
For now though... I'm fine, aren't I always? Even if my entire world is crumbling down, even when I am on the brink of both life and death, I'll smile and I'll never let them know how much I cried that night.
**
"Alessia, honey, are you alright?" Why the hell does everyone keep asking me that?
"Of course I am, why wouldn't I be?" I'm beginning to sound like a broken record here.
"I don't know, you tell me, you keep zoning out, are you feeling alright? If you need to take a break I have faith you can keep up for the concert in four days so if you want to sit out and get some water then please do so, we don't want to strain your voice."
"No, I'm fine."
"Alright if you say so. I think we have perfected song one so can we please begin with Alessia solo in song two then go from there.
