Jonnor's Relationship

I Pushed Him Away

Connor's POV:

As I get out of class after being laughed at for liking someone that doesn't like me anymore I run out of school as fast as I can before I start to cry. As I keep running I don't even notice that I run right past Jude. I keep running until I get to the edge of a cliff that isn't that big but down far enough that if you fell off of it you'd probably break your leg. When I get to the edge I stop and sit down and look into the ocean and listen to the wind and begin to think. I'm thinking about how my life was before meeting Jude. After a few minutes of thinking I'm brought back to reality as I feel someone put their hand on my back and sit down next to me.

" Whatcha doing here all alone" says Taylor as she looks at me feeling bad for me and loving at the same time? " Just thinking" I say not really wanting to talk. " What about" she asks? " My life being meeting you, Daria, and Jude" I say truthfully as I try to not sound mean. " O I get it you don't want us around here taking away your coolness" says Taylor as she smiles and laughs at me! " No that's not it at all" I say as I can't help but smile and laugh! As we try to stop ourselves from laughing I look up to see the one and only Jude standing next to me looking disappointed and guilty. " Hi" is all he says before Taylor begins to stand up. " Hi" I say not moving at all. "Can I talk with you.... Alone" says Jude as he looks from me to Taylor and back to me again. " I'll leave you to alone" says Taylor as she walks away. The next thing I know Jude is siting next to me as close as he can get. " What do you want to talk about" I ask not knowing how serious this conversation was going to be? " Did you really mean what you said back there" said Jude as I turn around to see where he's pointing. " " When I said what" I ask him knowing exactly what he's talking about? " When you said that you care about me" says Jude trying not to talk to loud. " Yes" I admit trying to not look at him so I look at the grass. " Then why do you keep running away from me" He asks getting confused and upset? " I can't tell you" I say as quiet as I can and as I'm about to cry as I get up to walk away. He gets up at the same time "You can tell me anything" he says as he grabs my arm before I can get away. " Let me go" I say as I try to shake loose. " I'm not letting go until you tell me why you keep avoiding me" he says in his serious voice! The next thing I know I shake my arm until he falls down. " I said let go" I say as I shake him off of me. " This is not the end of the conversation" says Jude as he gets up off the ground and tries to catch up with me. Everyone is now watching us. " Leave me alone" is the only thing I can think of saying as we're walking through the hallway at a fast paste. " Not until you tell me why you..." is all he can say before I turn around to speak. " You wanna know why I keep avoiding you... it's because I love you... ok... that's why I keep avoiding you... It doesn't matter how I feel anyways... everyone in your family hates me anyways... that's why I keep leaving you... I hope you're happy". When I save " I love you" Jude looks shocked and when I say "that's why I keep" I see Lena walk out of her office into the hallway. By that point atleast half the school is in the hallway watching everything happen.

After I'm done talking I walk away from Jude upset and hurt not only at Jude but also at myself. As I walking down another hallway I see Taylor run up to me trying to make sure that I'm ok.

" Is everything ok Connor you looked really upset back there" says Taylor as she grabs my arm. "leave me alone" I say still not in the talking mode. Then she grabs my arm again and says " Why won't you talk to any one". The next thing I know I push her into a locker and say " I said leave me alone". After that I leave her walking again. " Ya that's right! Push everyone way! That's gonna solve everything" yells Taylor as I decide to turn back around again. Like always everyone is watching us. " You know what I don't see what Jude sees in you! All you do is push everyone away! What are you gonna do when you have no one else to push away" After she said that I become even more angry then I already was. " If that's the case you might as well end it all right now... to get it over with" said Taylor as I start walking up to her. " I'm just saying it would be a lot easier then...." As she says "then" I grab her and push her into a locker and watch her fall. " What's going on over here" is all Lena says as she walks around the corner and sees Taylor on the ground and me hovering over her. " Connor my office now" says Lena the most angry I've ever seen her.

As we're walking to her office I can tell that she's concerned and doesn't know what to do because as we're walking she doesn't do anything. As we get into her office I sit at my normal stop and she sits at her normal spot.

"Now tell me what's going on and don't just say nothing" she tells me as I think for a minute or two. " I don't know" I saying lying as good as I can. But I can tell that she knows I'm lying. " Connor tell me the truth" she says in her calmer and mothering voice. " Everything's wrong" I say forcing the words out of me. " Keep going" says Lena not forcing me to talk. " I don't know... everything... like how Callie hates me... and Jude probably hates me... and Taylor definitely hates me now" As I'm saying that I'm crying my eyes out and Lena comes up to me and hugs me as she says that everything's gonna be ok. " No it's not" is all I say before she lift my head up. " No one hates you... you got that" she says as I force myself to smile and nod my head... " Now go to class.. here's a pass" she says to me as she hands me a pass. Then I leave her office feeling just like I did when I left Jude's house the night before.