Only Him

Chapter 38

Lara's POV

I unstuck my eye lids as I awoke from a very needed sleep. I hadn't slept that well for four months. I sat up slowly, my muscles ached as I went. Then I realised Draco wasn't next to me.

Where did he go? Why did he leave? Had I dreamt what happened?

All these questions whizzed around my mind. I became panicky, I couldn't catch my breath. What was happening. My head felt funny and my chest was tight.

I didn't even compute that someone had opened the door. "Lara?" A masculine voice said. I whipped my head to see Draco standing there with a tray of food in his hands.

I tried to say something but nothing came out. I felt light headed and everything became very hot. I couldn't breathe.

"Lara, darling what's wrong. What's happened?." He rushed over putting the tray of food on the bedside table.

I tried to speak. "I don't know." I said barely. "I can't breathe." I just managed to get out. Unwanted tears started to stream down my face. I felt so vulnerable but I couldn't hold it back. He wrapped his arms around me pulling me closer to him.

"You're having a panic attack, it will go. You'll be okay." He comforted me. "Try and breathe for me darling."

I tried but I couldn't catch my breath. He held the sides of my face so I was looking straight at him. "In through your nose and out of your mouth, you can do it." I followed his instructions and focused on breathing, with my head still spinning it was hard.

"You can do it. In and out." He mimicked what to do with me matching my breaths. Slowly but surely I started to calm down as my breaths got steadier. "Well done angel. You are so strong." He said as he wrapped me in his embrace once more. Angel? That's new.

I didn't feel strong, I felt weak. I hated it.

"I'm sorry darling, I shouldn't have left you alone. I just thought you would be hungry when you woke up." He mumbled into my hair.

I sat up but he kept my hands locked with his. "No, it's fine. That's never happened to me before. How did you know how to handle it?"

He looked down then back into my eyes. "I used to have panic attacks a lot when I first got the Dark Mark, I guess you just get a knack for it." He said shyly.

I squeezed his hand in support. It warmed me that he was comfortable sharing that kind of personal information with me. "Can I have a shower?" Changing the subject.

"Of course, I'll grab you some spare clothes." He got up and went to leave but stopped right before the door. "I need to go to my room but I'll be right back, will you be okay?" He asked.

I hated that he worried like that. Like I was a delicate thing that needed to be treated like China otherwise I would break. But right now I guess I was like broken China and he was just trying to piece me back together. "I'll be fine." I smiled softly.

He glanced at me once more before leaving. I got up, my legs still wobbly and weak but that sleep really helped regain my strength. I went to the bathroom and hopped in the shower.

The water felt bliss running against my skin. I felt reborn. I don't know how Draco slept next to me last night, I probably stunk so bad.

After a while I jumped out and looked at my complexion. There were serious bags lurking under my eyes. My cheek bones were prominent and my skin was seriously pale.

I wrapped the towel around myself before exiting. Hoping that Draco was back with some clothes. Fortunately he was sitting on the bed reading with clothes next to him.