Nikkah

30

Zoya had been wandering aimlessly the entire night, and finally, she retreated to a mosque. She was exhausted from all the walking, and her legs were aching from the fatigue. She had left Delhi far behind her and was now lost in a place she didn't recognise.

Aryaan had been searching for her the entire night. He had checked all the places he knew she might go, but still, he couldn't find her. He was feeling so frustrated and helpless because he couldn't find her anywhere. He was so worried about her, and he just couldn't stop thinking about where she might have gone. All the places he had checked had proved to be useless, and he was starting to lose hope. He was regretting all the mistakes he had made and wished that he could go back in time and do things differently.

Then his phone started to ring.

It was his mother, who was calling to check up on him and see if everything was okay. He knew he wouldn't focus on listening to her because he was totally preoccupied with thoughts about Zoya. His mind was filled with concern and worry for her, and he couldn't seem to shake it off.

So when the call came, he ignored it.

As for her, she was feeling so overwhelmed by all her anguish that she was driven to repeatedly hit her head against the wall. She was crying uncontrollably, and she was regretting the choices she had made that led her to that point. She felt so stupid for following her heart and marrying someone who didn't deserve it. She regretted giving her heart to him, and she was now experiencing the pain of having it ripped away from her. She just wanted the torment to end and for her life to be taken away. As her loud cry of pain echoed into the men's section, the Imam, who was an old man who had earlier disregarded it because he was reading the Qur'an, paused to take a look. He went to the women's section that was separated by a door.

When he saw her harming herself and blood trickling down from her head, his eyes widened in horror. He immediately reached her, but as he did, she suddenly lost consciousness.

He immediately became distressed by her condition, and he called out "Amina!" in a voice of urgency. He was still very horrified by what he had witnessed, so he called out to "Amina," again, the lady in charge of the section, who was watering the plants in the garden. Like him, when she entered, her eyes grew in shock at Zoya's state.

"Let's take her to the hospital immediately."

Both of them, the Imam and the lady, carried her and entered her into the ambulance that took only corpses to the cemetery. It was the only car available at the moment, so they had to use it.

They drove her to the hospital, and after they entered, they kept her on an empty stretcher.
The imam proceeded towards a doctor whom he had noticed sitting in reception, idle.

"Please tend to her quickly," he beseeched to him. "She's losing a lot of blood."

He nodded and got up immediately, calling for his colleagues. They then took her away to treat her.

Many moments later, the Imam was still walking around the premises, deeply troubled by the situation. He was also making a request from God that he should spare her life and not take her when he's not pleased with her. He continued to walk around and pray out of sheer worry and frustration.

The doctor came out of the room where they were treating Zoya. He informed him that she had woken up but had suffered a bad head injury.

"Thank you," he said, and they entered together with Amina. Zoya had opened her eyes and was staring blankly at the wall in anger because she wished she had died and became free of the clutches of the world, but she was still breathing.

The Imam then asked her, "Are you a Muslim?"

She quietly nodded her head in response to his question. However, he did not let that pass without further comment.

He said to her, "No, you aren't. You're a Kafir, as no Muslim in their right mind would attempt to end their life, knowing they're marching towards the fires of Jahannam."

After taking his words into consideration for a moment, she then turned away, unfazed by his opinion, since she knew he did not fully understand her situation.

His next line of inquiry, however, got to her emotionally. "Are you sorry at all?" he asked her.

Glancing back at him, she felt tears start to form in her eyes again, and she slowly shook her head, indicating that she wasn't. "I have to die and be with my parents. I will die," she responded.

He then tried to make her understand, this time leaning heavily into the religious side of things. To that, he said to her, "Allah SWT disapproves of seeking the path of death as a way out. You're still young. Repent while you can. What you did is considered one of the worst sins in our religion. So if you do not repent, you might not be able to find true peace in the afterlife, which will only happen when your good deeds are sufficient."

"But how are they not sufficient? I went against my own aunt to follow the Sunnah of our Holy Prophet, peace be upon him. I got married and was obedient to my husband, but what did I get? He broke my trust and married another woman shortly after we lost our child. So for my patience, I believe I've accrued enough rewards to outweigh the sin of suicide."

He was taken aback by her response, but he tried to continue to pursue his mission to get her to repent. He decided to try to bring her to her senses by using the words of the Holy Quran. To what she said, he replied, "Do you think the angels will simply accept what you say and let it pass? Do you honestly think they will let you into the heavens after you commit a sin as huge as suicide just because you decided it was  okay?" He was being quite insistent, and he wasn't willing to let her leave until she acknowledged the gravity of her mistake.

He was feeling a bit agitated and frustrated, but he was also worried about her. Anger and frustration radiated from her, and she lowered her head while keeping her face turned away. It was obvious that she was feeling a lot of pain at the moment.

She mumbled, "Please don't preach to me. I have a terrible headache."

"I know you're feeling tired right now, but..." He paused for a moment, trying to figure out what to say next. He then continued to plead, "Just listen for a minute. I agree that Islam is the perfect religion, but that doesn't mean its followers are perfect. God has permitted a man to marry up to four wives if he can maintain equity and justice between them. As his wife, you have no right to stop him..."

"I know. That's why I left, and I decided to leave the world too to reunite with my parents and my daughter."

He was stunned by her response and the fact that she was so adamant about her decision. He tried a different approach, realising that the preaching method did not work on her at all.

He then asked her, "Is that the best solution you found?"

She gave a direct and honest answer once again. "Yes," she said firmly and with conviction in her tone.

He then took another approach and tried to appeal to her emotions. He approached her and spoke to her in a sympathetic tone. "Do you not have anyone from your family who loves you?" he asked, with concern in his voice.

She sighed and glanced up at him, but she refused to say anything else because she didn't find it worth it. She simply lowered her eyes once more, refusing to elaborate further.

He breathed a soft sigh as he decided to continue talking to her. He tried to appeal to her feelings once again by trying to offer her some advice. "Look, my dear," he starts in a soft and empathetic tone. "If you can't live with him and his new wife, you have the right to ask him for another home. If he is not financially able to afford one, then according to Islam, he isn't qualified to remarry until he can properly take care of both of you."

"We had an agreement before our marriage that if he were to take another wife, it would nullify our marriage."

He was taken aback again by her firm and blunt response. But he chose not to engage in debate with her and simply acknowledged what she said.

"Your marriage is no longer valid, according to the scriptures."

"I'm aware."

"So you have to return to your family. Give me their phone number, and I'll call them to come take you."

"Give me one reason to continue living. I've lost my parents, my child, and my husband. What else is left for me here?"

"Your family. You must have other family members. Them. For their sake."

She started to cry again. In a quiet voice, she asked him, "My aunt, who never wanted me to marry him? Who, in a way, was also responsible for him leaving me? Is she the one I should return to?"

He was beginning to feel quite bad for her and was also getting a bit emotional about the situation. "Tell me more. Why didn't she want you to marry him?"

He listened to her carefully and attentively, as she shared her story with him. He could see that she was still very much in pain and that she felt like she needed to release some of the burden that was weighing her down.

When she was done, he decided to offer her his own perspective on the matter. His face showed no expression, and he simply said with caution, "Our elders have their reasons when they stop us from doing a certain thing. They see the future outcome of things and try to warn us about the consequences ahead of time. In your case too, your aunt did the same. She warned you..."

He paused because she was crying while telling him that she loved him.

She continued, "I loved him a lot. I respected him. I obeyed him. I did it all."

He continued to speak to her, but his tone and attitude were now more stern and confrontational.
"You never received your aunt's blessings," he said. "She was a guardian after your parents died, and she brought you up just as a mother would do with her own child. Even though our parents' choices do not matter when choosing a life partner, the Quran endorses that we give them proper respect and seek their blessing. You should have waited and convinced her before deciding to go ahead with the marriage."

"It's too late now. She said I would regret it, and I did."

"It's not late. You have a long life ahead of you to meet someone that would value you, who, in Sha Allah, will be loved dearly by her."

She was no longer emotional and had taken on a rather stiff and rigid face. She spoke assertively and confidently while looking at him. "I've lost faith in marriage. I'm done with it." She was very convinced and certain about it.

"Don't say that. I have a beautiful wife at home, and I love her a lot. You'll also find a husband who will love you like the Prophet loved Khadija."

She started to feel emotional again, wanting to shed more tears, but she smiled in sadness and sighed sadly while remembering the good experience she had started to have with Aryaan, but also the devastating events that ultimately occurred and broke her trust.

"I will pray for you to get that kind of love. You'll remember me when that finally happens, and you'll come to visit me with your husband."

Her smile died away completely because, unlike him, she couldn't betray their relationship and move on.

"Call my aunt." She agreed to return home and reconcile with her.