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I'm feeling angsty, and need to atleast write something before exams swallow my sorry ass up.

And it's great I wrote about something that I can actually relate to, anyway I hope you enjoy-
(unedited)
TW: DEATH, DEPRESSIVE SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

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Every second that passed my thoughts grew louder and made no sense. I saw stars impale my vision, before everything swiftly got dissolved into a black abyss. I couldn't feel my body anymore.
I woke up on a infirmary bed, then the tears started flowing.

✮Continued✮

Third person

The small boy plainly stared out the window, at the dull evening sky. He felt exhausted due to hours of uncontrollable, constant sobbing and animal like wails. The dread in his stomach had dissapated, rekindling into a bitter-sweet numbness.

He hadn't heard the door to the emptied infirmary open, too lost in the dark sea of his spiralling devouring disparity.

Togami hurried around the unnecessarily big room, hastily pulling back the pale green curtains that encased small hospital like beds behind them.

"Makoto? Where are you?" Byakuyas worried voice breaks Makoto out of his depressing thoughts, bringing him back into an even more depressing reality.

He opens his mouth to answer, yet abruptly closes it once his depreciating thoughts degenerately shout at him in the back of his mind.

Byakuya can't see you like this, you're so pathetic! I'm sure I look absolutely horrible. I can't go home again, can I? Nobody will be there. I have no family left.

I should have died instead of them.

The curtain beside him suddenly is drawn back, to reaveal a frustrated looking Togami on the other side.

Be happy be happy you have to be happy

What's there to be happy about, your dreaful life? How you are nothing but an orphan?

He tried to smile, yet it felt awkward and unwanted on his lips soon dropping from the discomfort. He was sure that Byakuya had noticed the attempt, "Makoto, there you are." Byakuya softly whispers. Due to lack of anything to say, Naegi returns his solemn gaze to the window. His eyes stung and throbbed.

I'll never get to laugh with komaru again. She's gone they're all gone I'm alone.

He nearly jumped when he felt the bed dip beside him, Togami felt so worried for Naegi. He had no idea how to provide him with the comfort he could see that Naegi so desperately needed. Byakuya never had a friend before, never comforted someone before, never even felt what it was like to loose someone he loved, since he hadn't loved anybody. As far as his family were concerned he viewed them as acquintences.

Wrapping a hesitant arm around the smaller boys shoulders, Togami swallows thickly. "I do not know much about comfort but, I am here Naegi."

Makoto melts into his warm side accepting the much needed arm around his shoulders. He willed his hands to stop trembling, wondering why they were shaking. "I-I'm sorry if this makes you uncomfortable but I just.. I cant-" Makoto stopped talking, his ragged voice sounding as if it had been dragged along the gravelly road that lead up to his house.

What house? You have no house, orphan. No family.

"You don't need to talk or worry about me." Byakuyas soft words added the tiniest bit of comfort to his swirling mind, maybe he was not as alone as he thought he was.

But it's not the same! I want my family back I need them back! It's not real.

They aren't gone, it's just a prank it's just a prank they're at home and doing well. They're waiting for me.

"This is just a prank right?" he voices his antagonising thoughts, not wanting the harsh reality of his circumstances to be right, wishing the truths were untrue.

"Makoto.. I'm so sorry." Naegi pushes away from Byakuya in disbelief, furiously shaking his head.
"No! No no I know- that they not gone.. They can't be it's.."

Its not true.

He desperately wanted to deny the solemn truth, wanted it all to go away. Maybe this was all a messed up nightmare? He wanted to wake up from it, needed to. He can't live here anymore, not without them.
Tears well back up into his swollen eyes. Togami took ahold of one of makotos cold hands. He had not known what to say, there isn't really anything to say when a fate so horrible happens to another's loved one, nevermind multiple at once. He couldn't even grasp how makoto must be feeling. He could not say

'I understand how you feel makoto' because he didn't.

'They are in a better place now'
Neither Makoto or he, are religious.

Prehaps he didn't need to say anything, he could only be there for makoto along every step on his horrid journey down grief. Actions matter more than words do. Byakuyas heart constricts as his ears are greeted with sad little sobs and mumbling.

Makoto lay, shaking on the bed, his head sat in The taller boys lap, as he wailed away. Not thinking about anything but his family's faces, still clawing greedily at the hopes that it was all untrue, it felt too real but that the same time it felt unreal.

It's unfair, it's unfair! Why them and not me, why not me? They aren't gone right? They can't be they really can't be.

Togami sat there, with a broken makoto's head on his lap for two hours until he noticed the lack of movement from Naegi, meaning he had finally fallen asleep. Knowing that Makoto was a heavy sleeper, Togami slowly carries him back to his own room, tediously making sure not to drag his feet or make too much sound holding makoto with care, as if the fragile boy should shatter in his arms at any given moment. All the while he felt something he was new to, sympathy. He wanted to give the whole world to Makoto even more so now, and he had not wanted to give anyone anything so desperately or willingly ever before.

Slowly taking off makotos shoes, he wraps the soft linen blankets around the passed out egg, hoping that he was not having a nightmare, but a dreamless long sleep. Togami silently stalks out of the room and into the hallway, pressing his buzzing phone to his ear.

"Young Master, what shall I do for you?" Aloysius, his trusted and loyal butler asks him.

"Aloysius, would you deliver chicken curry, cold medicine and strepsils to Dorm 301 please." He hung up straight after, knowing that Aloysius was very meticulous about never saying goodbye, or waiting for affirmations. Togami had liked that about his butler, he had no need for tedious words that would ultimately only waste time.

He hoped Makoto would be satisfied with the curry, Togami knew it was his favourite. The streosils would act as sweets, aiding in helping the poor commoners throat that sounded torn up. His long strides lead him back into Makotos room.

Goodness, I must really like naegi as a friend..

Togami sits on the couch that overlooked the window, glancing at his watch briefly the dull grey numbers reading 9:34 pm. He pulls out a book, continuing to read. The only sounds in the room being the dry sound of flipping pages and Makotos soft snores, lengthy quiet intervals of silence separated each of his delicate snores. Byakuya could hardly concentrate on his book with the gentle sounds reverberating in his mind.

I will suffocate him with a pillow!

Although the ultimate thought the snores had only been on his mind out of annoyance, he wondered why there was a strange knotting in his stomach, a small unspoken desire in the back rooms of his mind, tempting him to hop into the comfortable bed with the small boy.

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Alrighty, that felt a little short to write so I pinky swear next chapter will be longer than bykauyas di- legs.

Anyway, bye bye <3

ℕ𝔸𝔼𝔾𝔸𝕄𝕀 𝔸ℝℂℍ𝕀𝕍𝔼ヽ(͡◕ ͜ʖ ͡◕)ノ Where stories live. Discover now