The Bad Boys' Soft Boys' Lonely Hearts Club - The Full Package

The End

The empty halls of Fortuna ring hollow without their master present. Just a lonely throne standing watch over a sea of nothing. And who's sitting on that throne?

"yo, check it out, i'm the king of england!" yells Brayden, giving us the two finger salute while kicking his little feet. "my first decree is that y'all have to kiss my royal butt! my second decree is that beans on toast is banned!"

"There is no England anymore, Brayden," says Hayden, sitting on the steps with a hand on his chin. He looks dry, and pale, with chapped lips and red eyes. His five o'clock shadow is slowly turning into a van Dyke. "You're the king of dicks."

"hey, no beans on toast either way," says Brayden with a childish smirk. "seems like a win-win to me."

I stare at the last remaining page of the Book of Life in my hand. When the bus dropped us here, it was still smoldering, but curiously, part of the cover was still intact. That, and a page about how a guy in Florida called "Big Pete" accidentally invented a source of perpetual energy by connecting a generator to a spinning alligator trying to cut off his arm back in 1998.

"I still can't believe everything was a ploy to keep me and Ayden away," says Hayden. "I mean, even my mother's death?"

"Especially your mother's death," I say. "Everything has been a conspiracy to make you happy."

"Well, I'm all sunshines and rainbows now. So, thanks for killing mom, I guess."

A large shadow suddenly looms above us, as the leathery wings of Okayden circle around us like a crow, ready to feast on our carcasses. It's been a few days since we arrived from the doomed world, with no food or water to speak of.

Okayden perches on the throne, looking edgy and badass as fuck. Trust me on that one.

"Nothing but empty,

In the four cardinal paths,

Just an endless void," says Okayden.

We tried to walk towards the horizon, only to get back here again. Whatever fuckery keeps this pocket dimension afloat also keeps it on a loop.

It's a prison. And our only way out is to starve.

That, and the drain. The same drain Fortuna used to flush the bad boys down. And that ain't even big enough to fit us.

It seems we only delayed the inevitable.

I plop myself next to Hayden, resting my head on his shoulder. I'm so tired. He rests his head on mine, leaning on each other for support.

"You know, this is a bit funny," I tell Hayden.

"Funny 'haha,' or funny 'weird'?" he asks. "Cuz' I'm not in a chuckling mood right now."

"Kinda funny, kinda sad," I say. "All my life I've wanted to keep my head down, avoid any bad boy trappings, and become a customer service rep. But ever since I've met you, all I wanted was to spend the rest of my life with you. And it seems I'm getting my wish. Only, said life is way shorter than I hoped it would."

To that, Hayden laughs. "Yeah, it's a bit funny, I guess." He takes my hand in his'. It feels dry and ashy. How long can humans live without water again? "Maybe, in another life, we could've grown old together."

I squeeze his hand, nuzzling his neck. Even after so long, I can still smell his perfume. He smells like home. "Actually, it seems like we were the Hayden and Aiden who stayed together the longest."

He gives me a quick peck on the forehead. "Is that so? We haven't even been together that long. Our love must've meant a lot in the grand scheme of things."