The Bad Boys' Soft Boys' Lonely Hearts Club - The Full Package

The Goddess Of Fortune Is A Rotten Fujoshi!

What color do pink goddesses go when their blood is drained from their faces? Do goddesses even have blood in the first place? Let's find out!

"What you got there, brah?" asks Aiden, much to Fortuna's chagrin. Her face looks immutable, but there is a slight pink-gold tint in her cheeks. Not where I thought it would go, but okay.

The bigger question is, do they not know about the Isekai Interdimensional Shifter Service? It would've been brought on back in the maze when... huh. Wait a second.

The only reason I participated in the maze--other than to help Hayden help Okayden--was to strong-arm Jayden out of his essence. Come to think of it, if it weren't for Jayden finagling with Brayden's tight white hole, we wouldn't have reached the forest in the first place. I wonder if the Aidens before me ever went that particular route.

No, I'm sure this was a blind spot for them. I didn't see any bad boys in the forest, and surely no Aidens. And none of them had to deal with Jayden, since he didn't exist until right before me.

Why didn't any of the other Aidens deal with Jayden, anyhow? Fortuna has like... a buncha bad boys at her disposal that she could've used to deal with Jayden. But no, she went out of her way to contact me, and Hayden, to retrieve the bottle in the first place.

I'll tell you why: it wasn't that she didn't, it's because she couldn't. Jayden had upgraded to magical girl Stabby McStabbyface, and she couldn't afford to send another Aiden at him, lest he runs away. But me? A nobody outside the council? I was the perfect bait, with my beautiful purple eyes and supple Hayden. But to summon me without giving away her Lee disguise, she had to summon me to her pocket dimension.

And the only way to do it is with this ticket. And that magic bus. If she used it in front of Aidens, especially Aiden Prime, she would've given up her ruse of being a defenseless goddess in search of champions.

Because he would've realized that the source of all his pain came from a single spell cast by Fortuna. A single summoned bus that spiraled out of control and destroyed his life.

I'm not one hundo percent sure this is the case, but my bad boy senses are tingling, telling me this is the case. I'm sure you all realized where I'm going with this.

"Oh, this old thing?" I say, inspecting the ticket nonchalantly. "This is just an old bus ticket Fortuna lent me. It lets you ride a very old bus. Older than time, I would say."

I raise the ticket in front of me, rubbing it slightly. "In fact, this bus is so old, only has one stop. But it's a magical place full of wonders and magic."

"Hey, magic is my schtick!" yells Magic-Aiden. "Find yourself a new personality, you dick!

"Don't worry, Abraca-douchebag", I tell my other me, "this is no mere prestidigitation. This is an old magic bus. So old, in fact, that I think even Aiden Prime has seen it at least one in his life. I can guarantee it."

Aiden scrunches his brow while smiling coyly, like a macho guy at a gender reveal party when the burning forest starts to spew pink flames. "What do you mean? I've never ridden a bus in my--"

Suddenly, the goddess appears between us, hands outstretched to nab the ticket out of my hand.

Hook, line, and sinker.

I activate the ticket at the last possible second, for added suspense, of course. A portal opens right next to the goddess and a bus comes flying out of it like a bat out of hell, slamming against her left side. Both the bus and the body tumble into the water in a heap of silver-glittery liquid, which I think is her blood, before coming to a stop a few meters away.