The Bad Boys' Soft Boys' Lonely Hearts Club - The Full Package

The End? ~ Part 5

Okay, what chicanery, SyFy channel D-grade movie bullshit is fate throwing at me now from her trusty binder of "Fucking Ayden's day" up? I thought we were doing Fantasy this season, not middle-grade Light Novel edge.

Am I being punked? Is Aston Kutcher going to step out of a bush and point a camera at me? Do kids these days even know that reference?

"You know, The Committee of Dens sounds like the world's self-masturbatory Model United Nations club," I tell Farfallah/Lee/Fortuna, as Aiden wraps his arm around her.

"You're so lively and witty. That's what I like about you, Ayden," says Aiden. He tries to cop a feel of Fortuna's "divine chest of wonders," but he gets swatted away pretty easily. "I'm sure you have many questions."

"And I'm sure you will monologue interminably even if I don't ask, so do us both a favor and stop with the foreplay, lover-boy, 'cuz I'm getting drier by the second."

Aiden gives me a wry smile, followed by laughter from all the other bad boys around us. "Very well, the condensed version it is. Babe? Care to help us?"

The goddess rolls her eyes, but moves her hand in a circular motion. The ice wall changes to an image of a short-haired Aiden, still colored blue, but wearing a leather jacket, leather pants, and a smug grin. "See, my friend. I was once like you. A bad boy wanting to get on with my life, graduate, and become a ghost-writter for middle-aged romance writers on Fiverr. You know, a job without much drama."

The image cuts to the hallway of a school. A school I've been in for the last few months. A hallway I know all too well, from the rusting lockers, to the stained walls, to the water fountain holding every pathogen known to man from decades of pubescent spittle. There's no denying it: It's Hill Valley Mountain Woods High.

And at the end of the hallway is a man, smiling broadly, with pearly-white teeth, short hair, and holding a thermos. The man I love, Hayden.

"Wait, wha-"

"Shhh, don't interrupt daddy," says Aiden. "You see, I, like you, also feel for the charms of one Hayden Wilson. And our love burned red like a flame."

The pair go outside, holding hands, getting into a red convertible. "He was a beautiful man, with beautiful dreams. Dreams we were going to achieve together. We would graduate and move to Belize. There, he would pursuit his love for food, and revolutionize the culinary world with his recipes!"

As the car drives by an intersection, a school bus loses control, smashing against the car. The car flips in the air like a bad Sonic game(They are all bad, and if you insist otherwise, that an L, you furry freak) and crashes against a lamp-post. Aiden crawls out of the wreckage. Hayden does not.

"In the blink of an eye, our dreams, and Hayden's life, was snuffed," says Aiden, wiping a tear from him dumb whore face. "And I cursed. I cursed at the world. I cursed at the universe. I cursed at God. I cursed at fate itself. And you know, when a bad boy, a being of such unimaginable cosmic weight that can challenge destiny itself, curses at a god, the god listens. That's when you come in, right, babe?"

Despite Aiden's continual poke at her cheeks, Fortuna doesn't look neary an ounce more annoyed than her usual self. A godly feat, given how annoying Aiden is. "He wanted to rant, so, I listened, and made him a proposal he could not refuse."

The ice-wall crumbles before me, and instead, a book appears from the water. A book of shining letters and red seals, surrounded by concentric circles of a soft golden light. I dunno what that is, but it screams important. Fortuna shakes the man off and approaches the book, grabbing it with sublime reverence. "See, I'm the goddess of fate, of what was, what is, and what will be, but I can't meddle in the affairs of humans, nor can I change the destiny of anybody. I'm merely the glue that holds reality together. You can see me as an old book you put under that wobbly table to make it stable."